Let’s get hysterical and hang the heathen Hegseth!

OK. That title may be too harsh. But at least we can hang him out to dry. And we must! Why, the very moral fiber of the United States of America is at stake!

The head of the Department of Defense? Indefensible! Why from all reliable reports this unconscionable person apparently has had premarital sex! And, not only that, but it seems he may have been publicly intoxicated leading up to it!

It may have been eight or 10 years ago, but that cannot stand as an excuse for such amoral decadence!

Is our pristine culture not steeped in the high principles of sexual reserve? Do we not teach our children that pure soulfulness is more important than debased sensualism? Have we not exhausted ourselves in cleansing any media that might invite them into profligate temptations? Don’t we insist that our commercial messaging be free from using the allure of reprobate titillation? And have we not been diligent in teaching our young ladies how to comport themselves blamelessly and to avoid, at all costs, any hint of lascivious carriage? Have we not placed restrained chivalry into the hearts of our young men and virginal modesty in the souls of our girls?

Wow! Did I ever need an old-timey dictionary for all that!

So, no. Maybe for your great-great-great-grandfather. But these days, not so much.

Then what is the sin of this Peter of Peters? That same great granddad would, at least, have pardoned him for “sowing a few wild oats,” before entering holy matrimony.

What can we make of these shocking disclosures? He got drunk at a party and was led back to his hotel room by an amorous hostess. We can almost hear her girlfriend saying, “Oh, you go girl! That is one fine hunk of manhood!” An Alpha male, if ever there were one, well-built and handsome, a decorated soldier who put his life on the line, a recipient of our best universities’ highest degrees, a man experienced in diverse positions of government leadership and a determined patriot, appalled by bureaucratic abuses and clearly articulating the need for specific corrections.

Need we pause and wonder? Gasp! Could it be that there were others? Cluck, cluck, cluck!

Why, he was even scolded by his very own mother, maybe for cavorting around with any number of willing partners, when he should have been settling down into a respectable grandchild production mode. Who could blame her?

Indeed, we must have the highest standards for those who would lead us. Therefore, these should be the standards for the esteemed senators who want to vote against Peter Hegseth’s confirmation to head the U.S. Department of Defense.

Only those may vote against him who have never imbibed to excess. C’mon now, swear on a stack of Bibles! Only those who had remained chaste till their wedding night. We want a sworn oath! Only those may give a thumbs down whose mothers never chastised them for any of their wonton behaviors. And, definitely, none of those may dare vote no who had to dip into the 15-million-dollar paid-in-full congressional slut-slush-fund to cover their rather more grievous indiscretions. And finally, for all you Democrat sycophants, who stuck by your horn-dog Bill Clinton through thick and thin: Y’all just need to shut up and sit down. Next to your feckless leader this guy is a prince among men.

Donald J. Trump picked this fine, albeit hot-blooded (and all for the best) American patriot to do the quintessential work of turning our bloated, distorted, op-heavy military into a lean and mean fighting machine. Shame on any who cannot gracefully offer a full throated Yay.