Blaze News original: Have a laugh at supremely stupid crime suspects who gift-wrapped their arrests for cops — part 2

Blaze News on Friday invited you to "Have a laugh at supremely stupid crime suspects who gift wrapped their arrests for cops — part 1."

Indeed, there's no shortage of idiotic bad guys (and gals), and their exploits continue to inspire laughter, so we now bring you part 2 of this thematic installment.

'This dumb criminal of the week must have thought he was in another state or city where it’s okay to walk into a store and steal what you want and not face any consequences.'

In the forthcoming list you'll meet a rapper who allegedly boasted about committing an actual murder — in the lyrics of one of his songs — after which police were only too happy to place him under arrest. You'll also say hello to a guy who somehow thought it was a good idea to assemble an electric scooter right in front of the Target from where he had just allegedly shoplifted it — and a deputy's bodycam caught the resulting confrontation on video. Oh, and how about the burglar who would've gotten away with stolen items, except for the fact that he left his cellphone at the scene of the crime and actually went back to retrieve it? Oops.

So once again, take a load off, read on, and prepare yourself to giggle at a new crop of hapless crooks who were just too dumb to get ahead in their line of work:

Rapper allegedly boasts about committing an actual murder — in lyrics of one of his tunes — and police shut him down

A Nevada rapper allegedly confessed to a murder in one of his songs and got arrested for it last year.

The Las Vegas-area male in question — 25-year-old Kenjuan McDaniel — was taken into custody Aug. 29, 2023, on charges of open murder with a deadly weapon and violation of probation, KVVU-TV reported. The station said McDaniel was being held without bail at the time.

Las Vegas Metropolitan Police officers responded to a call about a male shot in the head near Lake Mead Boulevard and Saylor Way around 6:30 p.m. Sept. 18, 2021, authorities told the outlet. Investigators pronounced alleged victim, Randall Wallace, dead at the scene, police told KVVU. Witnesses told police they saw a black male fleeing from the area in an unknown white vehicle at the time of the shooting, authorities told the outlet. A witness a month later came to police saying there was more information but didn't want to be labeled a snitch, police told KVVU.

Soon police obtained information that led them to identify McDaniel as the suspect, authorities told the outlet. What's more, a detective on July 17, 2023, watched a YouTube video posted by the Biggest Finn 4800 titled “Fadee Free,” which included the lyrics: “I be the reason why he’s dead, we still taunt him when he die, not the reason he’s dead, so celebrate the reason why his momma cry," police told KVVU.

The report breaks down the song's lyrics line by line and indicates McDaniel not only takes credit for Wallace's murder in the words but also that the song includes information that never was released to the public regarding the shooting, authorities told the outlet.

Male who allegedly shoplifted electric scooter from Target caught on deputy's bodycam video actually assembling it outside store

The Flagler County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office said deputies responded to a shoplifting in progress at a Target store on State Road 100 on April 3, 2023. Authorities were told a male grabbed a “Razor” brand electric scooter valued at $539.99, passed all points of sale without paying, and then exited the store.

Deputies pulled up to a male matching the suspect’s description assembling the electric scooter in front of the store on the sidewalk, the sheriff's office said. Deputies arrested the male — later identified as Patrick Vandermeyden-Miller — for petit theft. But authorities said they also found drug paraphernalia in the suspect's pocket.

Vandermeyden-Miller was taken to a jail on charges of petit theft and possession of drug paraphernalia, the sheriff's office said, adding that he was being held on $2,000 bond.

“This dumb criminal of the week must have thought he was in another state or city where it’s okay to walk into a store and steal what you want and not face any consequences,” Sheriff Rick Staly said. “He didn’t get to ride ‘his’ Razor, but he did get a free ride to the Green Roof Inn in the backseat of a patrol car!” You can view the deputy's bodycam video of the arrest above.

Male tries to buy Porsche with $78 million check, refuses to leave dealership when he's turned down — and cops are in no mood to play

A male from Indiana was arrested Feb. 21 after he allegedly tried to use a $78 million check to buy a Porsche from a Kentucky dealership — and then refused to leave when he was turned down, WAVE-TV reported.

Connor James Litka, 21, of Bloomington walked into the St. Matthews Porsche Dealership on Bowling Boulevard with the colossal check — and then allegedly walked to the business' back entrance looking for car keys after dealership employees refused to sell him the car, the station said, citing arrest documents.

WAVE said Litka refused to leave until the dealership sold him the Porsche, after which employees called police in fear that the suspect might do something reckless, and police arrested him.

The suspect faced one count of criminal trespass and one count of disorderly conduct, the station said. A police investigation found Litka tried to buy a Land Rover at a Land Rover dealership the previous day using a $12 million check, WAVE said. You can view a video report here about the incident.

Female with healthy criminal history calls 911 — on herself. She says it's part of plan to 'legally' steal car. This major head-scratcher doesn't play out the way she apparently envisioned.

A female called 911 on herself not long ago to report she was "legally" stealing a car from lot in Tampa, Florida. The Lee County Sheriff's Office posted video on Facebook showing the responding deputy's bodycam video of the bizarre incident.from the responding officer.

Christy Lee Turman, 37, called police to notify them that she was stealing the car, public information officer Julie Martin said. The sheriff's video report included audio from Turman's heated call to police: "Because I'm trying to steal a car that's not legally mine! So ya'll gotta make a report! I'm reporting this!"

Police said when they arrived at the dealership, Turman was exiting the driver's side of a Toyota Corolla. Martin said Turman told police she was being trained in a game of Black Ops to steal a car.

Whatever her motives, police arrested Turman and charged her with trespassing; records indicate she was booked at 1:18 a.m. May 31.

Martin noted that Turman had numerous previous charges on her record, including petty theft, robbery, and aggravated battery. Turman also was arrested for disorderly conduct in 2015, according to those same records.

Online records showed Turman was still in custody June 6 with a bail amount set at $5,000. Police also identified her as "transient."

Burglar gets away with the loot but unwittingly leaves behind one crucial item of his own — his cellphone. His absent-mindedness does him in.

A Florida homeowner on Oct. 5, 2023, noticed the garage door of her Lehigh Acres residence was wide open, WBBH-TV reported. So she called for another woman to back her up, and when the pair went around the corner of the home, they saw 31-year-old Terry Jeffcoat, the station said.

One of the woman grabbed a gun and asked why he was there, WBBH said, and Jeffcoat ran away. When the women went inside the home, they noticed valuables were missing, the station said.

But it was later revealed that one item was present in the home that wasn't there before — Jeffcoat's cellphone, WBBH said.

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office said deputies responded, and soon a K9 Unit was making its way down the road from the home — after which Jeffcoat emerged from a trailer in the back of another house and gave himself up, the station said.

Jeffcoat admitted he'd returned to the burglarized residence where the women saw him in order to reacquire his cellphone he left there, WBBH said. When deputies searched the area where Jeffcoat gave himself up, they found what appeared to be items from the burglarized residence, the station said.

Jeffcoat was arrested and charged with property damage-criminal mischief, larceny, and burglary, WBBH said, adding that he was taken to the Lee County Jail.

Suspect claims to cops she was playing a shoplifting 'game,' but her dumb story soon falls apart — after which meth, weed, hashish are found in her car along with stolen store items

The Flagler County (Fla.) Sheriff’s Office said a concerned citizen on March 25 reported a shoplifter at Walmart in Palm Coast. A deputy responded just before 6:30 p.m. after it was alleged that a female had passed all points of sale, refused to show her receipt for a cart full of items valued at just over $1,000, and placed the stolen items into her vehicle.

Deputies confronted the suspect, identified as 30-year-old Amber McCann, who admitted she stole items but claimed she put them into a random car when she saw police arriving. McCann also told authorities she was playing a game called “21” during which one grabs as much merchandise from a store as possible and walks out without paying while trying not to get caught.

But police said McCann then changed her story and said the vehicle wasn't random but was a rental car belonging to her boyfriend. Then when authorities were removing the stolen merchandise, they detected a "clear and distinct odor of marijuana emanating from within the vehicle." During a probable cause search, they located a partially burned marijuana cigarette, baggies containing marijuana, a digital scale, hashish, a glass pipe with residue, and empty baggies. They also found a locked bag containing two plastic baggies containing a clear, crystal-like substance which tested positive for methamphetamine — and another baggie containing two yellow tablets identified as alprazolam, which is a Schedule IV Controlled Substance. What's more, deputies found inside a locked safe various 1-ounce silver bars and rounds, copper bars, and a 1-gram platinum bar.

McCann was arrested for shoplifting-grand theft, possession of marijuana, possession of hashish, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of alprazolam, and trafficking of methamphetamine. She was taken to jail and held on $34,000 bond.

“If she really thought she was playing a shoplifting game, she lost to our deputies and observant citizens,” Sheriff Rick Staly said, adding that "another out-of-town resident ‘just stealing material things’ from a big box store learned the hard way we enforce the laws in Flagler County, and it’s illegal to steal. She may have skipped the checkout lane at Walmart, but she went through the express check-in at the Green Roof Inn with a free set of designer bracelets — a.k.a. handcuffs.” McCann was still listed as an inmate at the jail in late August.

Passed-out motorist might have limited his Ls to a public intoxication charge — but when cops ask him for his ID, one might conclude he overshared with them just a bit 

Clay County (Ken.) Sheriff Patrick Robinson said he and Chief Deputy Clifton Jones were called May 10 regarding a male passed out behind the wheel of a vehicle. When the male was asked for his identification, however, on might say the fella overshared just a tad.

Yessiree, he pulled out a baggy of meth and pills along with a large sum of cash. Turned out to be nine grams of meth, several fentanyl pills, and just over $3,000.

Once suspect David Ratliff presumably got around to showing the sheriff and chief deputy his identification, the sheriff's office said he was arrested on charges of trafficking a controlled substance-meth as well as public intoxication.

What made this daft duo believe they could steal $280,000 semi-truck, park the beast in a hotel lot, and then start repainting it without raising suspicions? 

The Flagler County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office said a concerned citizen on Jan. 30, 2023, reported that two people were spray-painting a Peterbilt semi-truck in the back corner of a Days Inn parking lot.

Authorities said once they showed up, a male and female fled on foot into the wood line and began running south on Interstate 95. Deputies pursued the pair on foot, and they caught the female shortly afterward without incident. They caught the male without incident as well — but he had been hiding in the wood line for over two hours.

Seems the semi-truck — valued at $280,000 — had been stolen just hours earlier from Columbia County, authorities said, adding that the suspects were in the process of concealing the semi-truck's original pink color with the spray paint.

The female suspect — Dayanly Cutino Gonzalez — was charged with resisting arrest without violence, grand theft-motor vehicle, and felony criminal mischief, authorities said, adding that she was booked into the Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility and later released after posting $13,500 bond. The male suspect — Reinier Lazaro Perez — was charged with resisting arrest without violence, grand theft-motor vehicle, felony criminal mischief, possession of a removed vehicle identification number, and possession of fentanyl.

Sheriff Rick Staly said the pair was selected for the "Dumb Criminals of the Week" award "for thinking they could spray paint a semi in a hotel parking lot and not be noticed! Remember, if you are a criminal don’t come to Flagler County driving stolen property and running from us as you will only go to the Green Roof Inn tired!”

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