Drone mystery solved: Blame space alien thugs

Those drones flying over New Jersey night after night are really becoming quite a problem. Nobody seems to know where they’re from, what they’re doing, who built them, who’s flying them … nothing. Are they a danger, or are they just kids’ toys from a very sophisticated source? If you ask the FBI, they say, “We dunno.” If you ask the Pentagon, “We dunno.” You know, the same answer we got about that Chinese spy balloon.

If somebody told the FBI the drones were of Catholic origin, or school-board parents, they’d be on the case in a second – because we all know how those Catholics and parents are dangerous dudes.

Well, since there’s vacuum of reliable info, I sent my research team on the trail of the drones, and they have come up with following about the Drones Over New Jersey. (Hmm, that sounds like the title partner of Moon Over Miami.)

What we have concluded is that the drones are a marauding intergalactic terrorist gang of thugs. They have been on a solar-system visit, bringing fear and general terror to various planets. Now they’re determined to cause mayhem and to spread evil here on Earth. In fact, they’ve been up to this mayhem for quite a few years. If you’ve been watching the Biden gang, you already know that.

You’ve heard of Hell’s Angels, no doubt. Well, these guys are known around the universe as the Fallen Angels, and they’re up to no good.

According to Grok, their press secretary, who’s even more intimidating than Biden’s KJP, the deposits program from Saturn started many years ago. They dropped off one of their pods on Earth into a swamp in Louisiana. What emerged was the lovable James the Merciless from Saturn. Here he’s called James Carville. He plays the charming good ol’ boy, but below that facade is one of the most effective destroyers of civilizations.

This is what my staff and I have determined the drones are doing at night. With the cover of darkness, they are dropping seed pods to the Earth here in America. A seed matures to become a male human adult clone in a day. They are designed to carry out destruction of the culture by promoting a woke agenda. These Earth deposits will promote men chest feeding babies as opposed to mothers breastfeeding. They will demand equality with women beyond swimming, volleyball and 100-yard dashes. Soon they will demand the recognition of being an equal or better chest feeder than actual mothers.

The program began in England and soon will be on your doorstep here in America.

It won’t be long before Elizabeth Warren cracks open a bottle of beer on a video while her husband joins her by chest feeding a granddaughter/grandson/or grandthey.

The goal is to establish male chest feeding as a new normal and to diminish female breastfeeding – all part of the great American leftist quest to destroy the godly order of things.

Do you remember when that war against womanhood began ? Genesis 3:15 – that’s when God put enmity between the seed of the woman and the seed of the serpent. Women have been a special target of the serpent ever since the dawn of time.

My staff and I are assuming there are two national figures anticipating to be the leaders in promoting this degeneration. They will probably come to be known as the Lewis and Clark of chest feeders. They are the ET-ish Adam Schiff and Gavin Newsom, who will proudly be at the front of the line to chest feed the California blue-state babies. That progressive duo can’t wait to give it a shot. And there’ll be no need for hormone treatments.