Hunter asks if he can get his baggie of cocaine back
'I had to stash it one day when a tour group was coming through'
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After news broke that he had received a full presidential pardon from his father for any crimes committed in the last decade, Hunter Biden immediately asked officials from the U.S. Secret Service if he could get his baggie of cocaine back from the White House.
The cocaine, which was discovered over a year ago in a cubby outside the entrance to the West Wing, had gone unclaimed with authorities closing their investigation without learning the identity of its owner. With his pardon now in effect, Biden quickly claimed it and requested its return.
“Yeah, it’s totally mine, thanks,” Biden was reportedly heard saying in a phone call with the Secret Service. “I had to stash it one day when a tour group was coming through while I was about to do some lines. Such a buzzkill. Anyway, now that I don’t have to answer for anything illegal I’ve done, I’d appreciate it if you gave me back my blow. I plan on hitting some celebration pretty hard tonight if you know what I mean. I mean I’m going to get absolutely wasted and I need my coke.”
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