Kamala: Patron saint of the EGATS principle

The degeneration of the American mind and culture continues at an accelerated pace. We are becoming a nation of trophy holders celebrating mediocrity. Let’s coin that with an acronym, EGATS: Everybody Gets A Trophy Syndrome. Now that infection has even reached space exploration. We recently cheered on four astronauts almost getting 1,000 miles from the Earth.

Over a half century ago we had men walking on the moon. Gene Cernan left his footprints on the moon’s surface in 1972, and no one has been there in 52 years.

Normally, technological advances seem to explode from the initial event. Space exploration appears to be a glaring exception. That fact makes some wonder if the moon walks were really just Hollywood stunts.

Fifty-two years ago, humans had reached the moon, about 240,000 miles from the Earth. In 2024, we celebrate four people on the Space X Polaris Dawn rocket going into space 874 miles from here. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t exactly seem to be a great achievement for mankind in it’s quest to conquer the universe.

Wilt Chamberlain once scored 100 points in a basketball game in 1962. If we are to apply the Everybody Gets A Trophy Syndrome principle to basketball and the Polaris Dawn space trip thingy, we should be handing over a trophy of honor to any kid who doesn’t score a point but who comes close to hitting the rim. Whoop de doo!

In 1953, the New York Yankees’ Mickey Mantle hit the first tape-measure home run of Griffith Stadium in Washington at 565 feet. It finally rolled to a stop in the backyard of 434 Oakdale St. That ball and bat ended up in the Hall of Fame.

Applying the EGATS principle, any kid who hits a ball 2 feet from home plate should be high-fiving on his way to legendary status.

Baseball icon Joe DiMaggio had at least one base hit in 56 straight games in 1941. That has never been equaled or excelled in 83 years by more than 20,000 major league ball players. Applying the principle of cultural degeneracy to that stat would come out to 0.2 hit in 56 games, which might look like a barely fair ball that tips off of home plate. That would elicit many, many trophies at the end of each game.

One personality who may really benefit from this era of Everybody Gets A Trophy policy is Kamala “Mamala” Harris. Much of the sane world knows that she lacks the ability to use the English language. She can’t say anything much more significant than she grew up with families around her neighborhood who kept nice lawns.

That statement could become the equivalent of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address if America slumps down the road of the inane trophy-abundant world. Abe Lincoln used 272 words at Gettysburg to dedicate America to lofty goals. Using the EGATS ratio, middle class President Kamala would be celebrated for uttering the the word,” Four.”