My Mom’s first Christmas in Heaven

Mark Twain once wrote, “It is at our mother’s knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.”

That’s certainly true of my mother, and I hope yours, too.

This last Wednesday morning, my 103-year-old mom finally reached her heavenly home in the arms of Jesus and her parents and siblings, whom she missed so desperately.

My mother, Wilma Norris Knight, was born in 1921. She was the last survivor of her 11-member biological family, outliving them by decades.

My mom had a very difficult first half of her life, and the second half had its share of sizable obstacles, too.

Mom was raised in abject poverty in rural (Ryan) Oklahoma. Her family never had running water or electricity, but did have an outhouse that in the hot humidity of Oklahoma – as my mother explained – turned into “one small-closet-sized stinky sauna.” Mom’s family even lost their home once in a tornado.

She was given away as a ward of the state when she was only 8 years old so she could get the proper medical care she needed, living away the entire time from her family in a children’s hospital two hours away by car (and they had no car at the time). She was treated for two years there for a rare disease.

When she returned to the family healthy a few years later, the Great Depression was in full swing. There was nothing easy about raising a large family in rural Oklahoma back then, and the Depression made it that much more difficult. Like others, her family had to move often due to shortages of work and food.

They suffered greatly through those perilous economic times, often weekly bouncing from town to town and cotton field to cotton field picking the white fluffy fiber from its thorny pods just to make enough to get daily bread.

Here’s a photo of several members of Mom’s family in one of the many cotton fields they worked in (that’s my Mom as a child, standing to the right of her dad and my grandpa, second from the right end):

In my mom’s autobiography, “Acts of Kindness: My Story,” she explained what it was like to work in the fields:

All who were able to work in the family picked cotton in the fields. Papa and [her eldest brother] Hershel worked for about a dollar a day. Mama and the eldest girls joined them on Saturdays to pick cotton too, as we were paid by the weight of the cotton collected [about 36 cents per pound]. Papa and Mama would often sing old spirituals while working in the fields.

There was nothing easy about picking cotton – from being out in the hot, dry, humid, dusty plains to being pricked all day by cotton plant thorns, having bloody hands and ending each day with a terrible back ache from bending over all day. And that went on from sunrise to sunset, six days a week, for weeks on end.

Despite where we were, however, Sundays were the Sabbath and we would always rest and be in church, if there was one in the area. If not, Mama and Papa led the family in a Bible devotional. Mama would often read the verses and Papa would expound on them, explaining what they meant and why they were important and applicable in our lives. We enjoyed singing hymns and spiritual songs together. Then taking the remaining part of the day to relax, play and do whatever we could to rejuvenate our bodies, minds and spirits. …

My mom married my father, Ray Norris, at just 16 years old. At the same age, she also nearly lost all her sight, and did lose her father by his sudden passing to heaven.

My Mom’s firstborn (me, Carlos, my birth name) was born on March 10, 1940. Her second of three sons, Wieland, was born on July 12, 1943.

At that time, the world and the U.S. were at war, and all men of age were called up to serve. Mom and Dad were told if Dad didn’t enlist, he would be drafted.

In all, Dad was deployed in Europe for about a year – he fought and was wounded in the famous Battle of the Bulge. He came home a changed man – but for the worst, and Mom had to pick up the slack for years. Through it all, she had her third son, my brother Aaron, on Nov. 23, 1951.

My Dad eventually abandoned the family, and Mom was ultimately left to raise us three boys by herself. At first, she worked at a laundry mat and cleaned houses (and whatever she could) to get us by.

But good ol’ faithful Mom always made our house (wherever we lived, with relatives or on our own) a loving and warm home. The truth is, our family experienced great freedom and fun with mom through the years, especially as we were teens and young adults.

God of course did not abandon Mom but continued to show His love of provision for her and us.

He even brought her a new man and husband, George Knight, with whom she would spend roughly the next four decades in a loving and blessed relationship. And George would love us boys too and show us a fatherly love we never knew before.

We had moved to Southern California, where Mom met George at Northrop Aircraft division when she got a job there in 1955. It was love at first sight.

George and Mom had a lot in common: They were both split from former spouses; they both had three kids each; they were both Midwest country folk (George’s hometown was Topeka, Kansas); and they both were devoted Christians. Of course, mom also thought George was sweet and handsome, so that was incentive too!

On my Mom’s 35th birthday, May 4, 1956, George proposed to her. They married on Aug. 25, 1956. George was a youthful 48 years old.

In an instant, we became a family of eight, with six children. You can say, we were kind of the Brady Bunch before they were a bunch! In chronological order, George’s son Dick was 18 years old. Carlos was 16. Jerry was 15. Wieland was 13. Carmen was 12. And Aaron was 4. Mom and George loved us all unconditionally and raised us all as their own.

George retired in 1968, after he had worked at Northrop for 32 years. Mom and he then moved into their first Lake Elsinore home, which was out in the country (at least it felt so, compared with living in Los Angeles County). The acre of land had fruit trees on it, and mom also planted a big garden, just as her parents did back in Oklahoma.

Together, Mom and George were the best of friends, enjoyed and laughed every day, and traveled the world in their empty-nester years, with their favorite trip being to the Holy Land.

But then, out of the blue, tragedy hit again.

It was during her marriage to George that our whole family suffered the most devastating news that my brother Wieland “paid the ultimate price” in the Vietnam War on June 3, 1970. Though Aaron and I lost our best friend and brother, Mom paid the heaviest family price for sure. No parent should have to say goodbye to her child, especially in war. Nevertheless, she so valiantly and courageously helped us all through our grief, as we did our best to help her.

My great solace now is thinking how her reunion with Weiland in Heaven brought a smile to their faces as big as the sun! To think about Mom, George and him together – as well as other family members – brings me great joy even now. Thank you, Jesus, for paying for all our sins, that we who believe in you can live eternally.

In all, Mom and George were married 39 joyous years when he left for his heavenly home. George was 87 years old when he died from complications of aging.

In this life, George loved her unconditionally with all his heart. He showed her Jesus through his life. And that was the best thing he could ever do for mom. Through him, Jesus unshackled the relational chains in her heart and set her free.

Shortly after George passed, we moved mom out to Texas, where she spent the last 25-plus years of her life. Doing what? Talking on the phone of course! Non-stop, all day, every day to everybody!

She also had countless visitors over the years as well, friends from sea to shining sea and far too numerous to list here.

Proof of that was that Mom would get more than 70 Christmas cards a year. Even more, in 2001, on her 80th birthday, 320 people showed up at her birthday party!

No doubt, one gathers many friends and family over nine decades on this planet. Mom never met a stranger who didn’t become a friend.

Suffice it for me to say to all of you, “THANK YOU for being her dear friends! She cherished you all! You know how much!”

From Texas, Mom said “so long for now” to her last living siblings, outliving her entire family of 11. Her sister Gladys was the last sibling to pass, in 2006, nearly 20 years ago!

From Texas, Mom also welcomed and became better acquainted with her new generations of family. Most cherished were her 22 grandkids, 31great-grandkids and six great-great-grandkids!

She is survived by them, Aaron and me, and our beloved wives, Becki and Gena.

For over a century, my Mom has been an example of love, perseverance and faith to countless people. She’s been through trials and tribulations from her childhood to life as a centenarian, over 30 operations and multiple cancers. Yet, she has endured it all with grace and optimism.

She once told her autobiography co-author something that became the pivotal sentence of her book and life. It is a needed reminder for all of us: “Bad things happen to good people, too. But good people can survive bad things with God’s help.”

It’s so true, Mom!

Aaron and I are the people we are because of our Mom. She is the quintessential definition of what a praying mother is. She prayed for us all of our lives, through thick and thin. While we were on the front stage of Hollywood filming, she was back home praying for our success and our salvation, always showing God’s unconditional love to us for a century.

Our Mom was a woman of unwavering faith, a beacon of light in our lives, and her love reflected God’s grace. Growing up, her laughter filled our home with joy, and her hugs provided a sense of safety that we will forever cherish. She had a remarkable way of making everyone feel special, often putting the needs of others before her own. From my earliest memories, she taught me the importance of kindness and compassion. I am so thankful for the countless lessons she shared, the prayers she lifted for us and the way she embodied the love of Christ every day.

Now, you see why Aaron and I wrote in the foreword of her autobiography: “If there are two words to describe our Mom, it would be kindness and love. When anyone meets Mom, they feel like they have known her all their lives, because of her kind and loving spirit. In other words, Mom has said every morning for as long as we can remember, ‘Lord, use me for your Glory.’ And we believe He has done just that! God, thank you for giving us the best Mom in the world.”

In 2010, at 90 years young, my mother received an honorary black belt from the United Fighting Arts Federation. True! She was so happy to join the ranks of her sons for the fighter she is!

I want to finish letting you know what that moment recalled for her, in her own words from her autobiography. Here they are:

Receiving my black belt with that crowd around me made me think about the future, when Christians will stand before God and receive all the benefits and blessings of heaven.

It also made me think about George, Papa, Mama, Wieland, my brother and all my sisters experiencing eternal life right now, awaiting a day I will one day rejoin them – this time for all eternity.

Though it is difficult to be apart from them now, I know that will not last forever, and the day draws nearer all the time.

That is why we follow our Southern custom: We don’t say goodbye, just so long for now.

That will be the ultimate family reunion!

However, I think most emotional to me will be when I see my Master and Savior, Jesus.

I have a feeling that moment will be my shortest speech, as I fall to my knees and offer Him the praise and worship that He alone is worthy to receive, for providing the way for me, my family, my friends and us all to spend an eternity together with Him.

In that day, I will trade in my car for a golden carriage. And I will trade in my black belt for a crown of righteousness. I will breathe my greatest sigh of relief, saying in my heart what the Apostle Paul said at the end of his life: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the Righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

And angels and chariots will escort me home.

The great C.S. Lewis was right: “There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

We love you, Mom.

Until we meet again.

My First Christmas in Heaven (Poem)
by Wanda Bencke

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars,
Reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear an angel sing.

I can’t tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?

I’ll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love;
So then pray for one another,
As you lift your eyes above.

Please let your heart be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I’m spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I’m walking with the King!

I know how much you miss me;
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I’m not so far away,
We really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift
From my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory
Of my undying love.

After all “love” is the gift,
More precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other
As my Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings
Or the love He has for you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
Wipe away that tear.
Remember I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year!

(If you’re so inclined, you can order my mom’s autobiography, “Acts of Kindness: My Story,” from Amazon. Copies are often sold out but you can get a Kindle version, which has a plethora of great colored photos. I guarantee you that it will inspire you or a loved one! Remember, she only had an 8^th grade education so her speech and writing is simple. Also, here’s my mom’s five-minute interview on the Mike Huckabee show, when he used to be on Fox, for those that want to hear more from her in person. If you’re also interested in learning more about Heaven this Christmas or new year, I highly recommend my friend Randy Alcorn’s awesome and insightful book and many resources on “Heaven” here. Lastly, Our Daily Bread, the Bible reflections published for millions around the world each and every day, highlighted the power of my mother’s prayers for me and my brothers. You can read it here.)