Trump delivers a master class in comedy — and demolishes Harris

President Donald Trump helped raise money for New York City's most vulnerable women and children Thursday evening by bashing Kamala Harris, suggesting that some of her remaining male supporters are cuckolds and insinuating that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D) was a direct beneficiary of the tampons he put in boys' restrooms.

Trump's humorous critique of his opponent and the Democratic Party — which had the crowd in stitches and subsequently prompted many a meltdown in the liberal media and among Harris boosters — was thematically reinforced at the 79th annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation dinner by an unlikely source: Jim Gaffigan, a left-leaning comedian who called Trump a "fascist" in 2020.

Although Gaffigan made sure to poke fun at Trump, he risked the ire of his leftist peers by similarly knocking Harris — questioning her decision to blow off the event and suggesting that she became the Democratic candidate by undemocratic means.

"The Democrats have been telling us Trump's re-election is a threat to democracy," said Gaffigan. "In fact, they were so concerned of this threat that they staged a coup, ousted their democratically elected incumbent, and installed Kamala Harris."

Early in his speech, Trump emphasized his appreciation for the dinner, which Harris refused to attend — an event hosted by the Archdiocese of New York that he frequented with his late father, raising money for kids with special needs, foster children, low-income single mothers, and other vulnerable persons in the city.

After noting that he was happy to participate in a New York event that he wasn't summoned to by subpoena, Trump unleashed on Harris, noting that her absence, which she tried to remedy with a four-minute video submission featuring former "Saturday Night Live" star Molly Shannon, was "weird" and "deeply disrespectful" — an assertion that was audibly well received by the audience, who booed her in absentia.

Trump joked that Harris was likely hunting with Walz, referring to the governor's embarrassing hunting-themed photo op last weekend, or alternatively "receiving communion from Gretchen Whitmer," the Michigan governor who recently shared a video apparently mocking Catholics and the Eucharist.

Echoing a previous statement from Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the organizer of the dinner, Trump pointed out that the last major party candidate not to attend the event was Democratic candidate Walter F. Mondale, who lost 49 out of 50 states, securing only 13 electoral votes in the 1984 election against Ronald Reagan.

Earlier in the evening, Gaffigan said, "This event has been referred to as the Catholic Met Gala. 22% of Americans identify as Catholic. Catholics will be a key demographic in every battleground state. I'm sorry, why is Vice President Harris not here?"

'Governor Walz isn't here himself, but don't worry, he'll say that he was.'

Trump, who sardonically suggested that Harris' laugh was "beautiful" and recommended keeping her husband, Doug Emhoff, away from the nannies, suggested that if the organizers of the event really wanted the vice president to accept their invitation, they should have "told her the funds were going to bail out the looters and rioters in Minneapolis and she would have been here, guaranteed."

Prior to roasting some of Harris' allies, Trump suggested that the country needs new leadership, noting:

We have someone in the White House who can barely talk, barely put together two coherent sentences, who seems to have mental faculties of a child. It's sad. This is a person who has nothing going, no intelligence whatsoever — but enough about Kamala Harris.

Trump subsequently singled out Ross Morales Rocketto's Democratic booster group White Dudes for Harris, saying, "I'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives' lovers are all voting for me. Every one of those people are voting for me."

After suggesting White Dudes for Harris were cuckolds, Trump roasted Harris' running mate, saying, "Unfortunately Governor Walz isn't here himself, but don't worry, he'll say that he was."

"I used to say that Democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods," continued Trump. "But then I met Tim Walz."

Although he acknowledged that speakers at the event customarily make some self-deprecating jokes, Trump noted there was no point taking shots at himself "when other people have been shooting at me."

Trump did, however, adopt a serious tone toward the end of his speech, noting that in the wake of two known assassination attempts, he has "a fresh appreciation for how blessed we are by God's providence and His divine mercy," adding that with God's help, "there is nothing that cannot be achieved."

When wrapping up his remarks, Trump noted that New York City needed the room for a "large group of illegal aliens coming in from Texas."

While Trump had the crowd laughing, including longtime critics Gaffigan and Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), the Harris campaign tried spinning his speech as a failure.

Ammar Moussa, the Harris campaign's rapid response director, claimed in a joyless statement that Trump "stumbled over his words and lashed out when the crowd wouldn't laugh with him. The rare moments he was off script, he went on long, incomprehensible rambles, reminding Americans how unstable he's become. And of course he made it all about himself."

In her brief Al Smith dinner video submission, Harris went on the defense, suggesting that she would never say anything negative about Catholics despite previously suggesting the Knights of Columbus' Catholic faith disqualified them from serving as judges and introducing legislation aimed at forcing Catholic organizations to engage in activities that violate their religious beliefs.

After citing a verse from the Gospel of Luke, Harris closed her video by recommitting "to reaching across divides, to seek understanding and common ground."

Gaffigan responded to Harris' video saying, "As I watch that, I couldn't help but think of — now I know how my kids felt when I FaceTime into a piano recital they were at."

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