Women who really DO deserve a statue
'Right now let's recognize Eve. She's the mother of all mankind'
Mark Zuckerberg must like to rub it in. I’m referring to his wealth. He’s worth, some say, $180 billion, which makes a lot of guys envious. If that’s not enough, he has now found a new way to make the average guy rather annoyed at him. Zuckerberg has just revealed to the world a 7-foot statue in his garden to honor his wife, as did the ancient Romans.
So just when my neighbor constructed a statue for his wife, Z, as I call him, comes out with this teal 7-footer, which put my neighbor Jim’s 5-foot Home Depot patio stone statue to shame.
Zuckerberg must think he’s the husband of the year or something like that. But come on, buddy, you have billions. You could’ve made the statue of diamonds and gold … but teal-colored copper?
I found that there are only about 300 statues of noted women in the U.S., versus nearly 5,000 statues featuring famous and semi-famous men.
Of these 300 statues honoring women, Joan of Arc is the woman receiving most of the recognition. That’s a head-scratcher to me. What’s a French woman doing with the highest honor in the U.S.? The way America is sliding toward the abyss, I would think Hillary, Oprah, AOC, or Michelle would be in the lead. And now, as we head into the homestretch of decay, Kamala will soon join the parade.
So while we still have some time, let’s start recognizing some of the ladies in history who have suffered through being statue-less. Have you ever seen a statue to Eve, she of Adam fame? In fact, I’ve never seen a statue of Adam, but that’s a problem for future consideration.
Right now let’s recognize Eve. She’s the mother of all mankind. Don’t you think it’s about time after 6,000 years to have a statue of her? As Joe Biden would say, “Come on, man!”
She never knew she was naked until Adam ate of the forbidden fruit. That led to the Garden of Eden’s first argument: “Give me that leaf, you idiot. Now do you see what you’ve done?” Then Adam probably said, “Well, it wasn’t my fault – you’re the one who ate the fruit first.”
Ever since then, one side of humanity has been plagued with the curse of paying for shopping.
How about a statue for the lady named Naamah. I bet you have no idea who she is. Neither did I until my vast research team informed me. She was the wife of Noah the ark builder. Naamah is historians’ most commonly accepted name for her, among several others.
Everybody knows Noah, but we hardly ever consider the plight of his wife. She had to take all the ridicule she heard around town about her husband for over a hundred years. He was her “idiot” husband pounding away day and night building a huge boat for a flood that was coming, next week, next month, next year. She would hear the laughter, “Hey, Naamah, where’s your umbrella?”
“Hey, Naamah, do you want to borrow my raincoat, Naaamah, where’s your rain bonnet? It looks like it might rain – whatever that is.”
Then when the flood did hit, she had to clean a 300-foot-long boat filled with thousands of animals, thousand of litter boxes, a plethora of pooper scoopers, and then cook for her husband, three lazy daughters-in-law and sons. This went on for over a year.
Ladies and gentlemen, and especially you Mark Zuckerberg, I implore you, this lady deserves a statue.
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