God’s recipe to repair your ripped relationships in 2025

Watch Larry’s most recent “Week in Review” video.

“Ripped” abs are one thing; but ripped family and friend relationships are something else. Left to linger, they take an incredibly painful emotional, spiritual and mental toll on our lives. Who comes to mind as you read these words?

Remember how Paul told the Philippian community of believers to plead with two lovely ladies named Euodia and Syntyche to please end their relational differences and restore the unity to which God calls us as His family (Philippians 4:2–3)? How would you like to be remembered all throughout history for being like these two bickering babes? And neither should we want to be remembered like this by family and friends because we wouldn’t “die to ourselves,” walk humbly (even submit to mediation – Mathew 18:15-16) to get our broken relationships healed for the glory of God.

Start strong
Everyone likes a fresh start … new beginning … the opportunity to put some things behind us and get going on the pathway to success. With the election there is an air of optimism so let’s lean into it for unity and a brand-new future.

We don’t have to keep looking in the rearview mirror or remain “stuck.” Pivoting may not be easy, but it pays rich dividends!

The apostle Paul, like all of us, made mistakes and experienced relational conflicts with people (like Peter and Barnabas), but demonstrated his maturity and character by resolving the rifts and reminding us to do likewise, remaining forward looking rather than plagued by regrets.

“Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things.” (Philippians 3:13–15)

As a “spirit of accusation” has been unleashed from hell to bring division to churches, couples, families, and friends, long-standing relationships have splintered causing trauma and terrible examples to onlookers (especially our children and young people). Let’s change it.

In John 17 Jesus prayed for us before His crucifixion, “Father, I pray they be one, even as We are one so that the world may believe that You have sent me.” In other words, if the world does not see love and unity among God’s people then Jesus is giving them the right to question whether He came from God! Shocking but sobering.

Auld lang syne
On New Year’s Eve around the world, friends and family gather to traditionally mumble through a 1788 Scottish song that emphasizes the question: Should old acquaintances be forgotten or should we once again remember and rekindle long-standing relationships, not letting them fade into “once upon a time”?

We must be careful, as we bid farewell to the old year, that we go forward with kindness and not dwell on past issues that divide us. “Should old acquaintances be forgotten and never thought upon; the flames of love extinguished … the heart grown cold … that thou can’t reflect on days once upon a time?”

Embarking on a fresh new year gives all of us the opportunity to humble ourselves before God and one another, reflect on the undeserved forgiveness and mercy God has given us, then do as Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount where He told us when we come before His presence to put down our gift and first be reconciled to someone where an offense exists. He also stated that if we do not forgive others (70×7), neither will our heavenly Father forgive us!

Let’s engage in the spiritual discipline of reconciliation. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. … Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and by it many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:11-17)

10 Biblical steps to restore a relationship
1. Affirm that getting reconciled is a directive, not an elective (Matthew 5:23).

2. Reject passivity and act intentionally to thwart the “accuser of the brethren” (Revelation 12:10).

3. Conduct yourself in a godly manner, being “swift to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).

4. Honor “due process” coming in a spirit of inquiry and not accusation knowing “the first to present his case seems right until the other comes and examines him” (Proverbs 18:17).

5. Purpose to give people the benefit of the doubt and be loving, avoiding inflammatory, categorical statements that are inconsistent with charitable conversation (1 Corinthians 13).

6. Resist all prideful, self-righteous attitudes and actions in dialogue, remembering that we are all sinners saved by grace. (Jeremiah 17:9–10).

7. Uphold the directive of Jesus to meet privately and personally to handle apparent sinful conduct, thereby steering clear of gossip and slander (Matthew 18:15).

8. After thorough interaction if you are at an impasse, you will follow the instruction of Jesus and humble yourself to seek mature biblical council to help resolve the conflict (Matthew 18:15–16).

9. In repairing relationships, you will intentionally extend mercy to others, differentiating between an isolated incident and an ongoing pattern of behavior (James 2:13).

10. Celebrating God-given diversity within the Christian community, pledge to be gracious in recognizing different preferences, personalities, and positions on gray areas “disputable matters” and not let them be a source of division (Romans 14).

Here’s the deal
The New Year is beginning and this is going to be our opportunity to launch into it with a new sense of freedom because we’ve put God first and dealt with division to walk in unity for God’s glory. I will be honest in acknowledging I and my family has fallen short in this area this past year but we’re moving forward to honor God through repentance and reconciliation efforts.

“Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity… for there the Lord has commanded the blessing, even life forever” (Psalm 133:1–3.)