Old White People Rally Against ‘Kings’

What do you call seven million old white people gathering all over the country?

Not a Barry Manilow reunion tour.

It is, of course, the “No Kings” rallies, which happened over the course of Saturday with seven million protesters, nearly all of them members of the AARP, gathering around the nation in order to protest kings.

You may have noticed we don’t have kings here in the United States. We have a constitutional republic.

No matter what you think of Donald Trump, Donald Trump has been subject to the dictates of Congress. He has been subject to the dictates of courts. There are actual laws and regulations on the books that prevent the president of the United States from instituting tyrannical power over the rest of the country.

One of the most amusing things about these “No Kings” rallies is the supposition by the Left that they stand in opposition to grand expansions of executive power.

That is absolute bull. It is nonsense. I’m old enough to remember Barack Obama. I’m old enough to remember Joe Biden, who tried to use the Occupational Safety and Health Organization in order to cram down vaccine mandates on 80 million Americans, and our company had to sue to stop him.

I remember President Biden telling the Supreme Court that while they were attempting to stop him from getting rid of student loans, he would circumvent them and find another way to do it.

The idea that these people who are opposed to Donald Trump do so to oppose expanded executive power is ridiculous. It is the Democratic Party in the United States which has, writ large, expanded the power of the executive branch wholesale over the course of the last century. Since Woodrow Wilson, the expansion of the executive branch of government has been nonstop. It has sometimes been paused under some Republicans, but it is rarely reversed.

When it comes to the modern Democratic Party, the idea that they want to delegate power back to the states or delegate power back to Congress is a lie. As soon as a Democrat is in power, they simply want to run roughshod over the Constitution of the United States.

Thus the very premise of these “No Kings” rallies is false.

Left-wing Axios reported:  “According to a statement from the ‘No Kings’ protest organizers, Saturday’s turnout was ‘one of the largest single-day demonstrations in U.S. history’ with over two million more people taking part than participated in similar protests in June of this year.”

Of course, you remember how much of a difference it made when they protested in June.

You don’t? You forgot already?

You forgot already because it didn’t matter at all. It is now Monday and everyone already forgot.

“More than 2,700 events were planned as part of the protests across 50 states as of Saturday, as well as several internationally, including in London, Paris, Rome and Lisbon, Portugal.”

I get a kick out of places that actually have kings saying that they’re going to have “No Kings” rallies.

These rallies are ridiculous. If you look at the pictures of people who are dressed up as lobsters in Massachusetts or Superman in New York City or inflatable chickens, you think to yourself, “I don’t think these are the folks who are going to change America in any real way.”

JOSEPH PREZIOSO/AFP via Getty Images

And that’s putting aside the people who arrived at these rallies in order to promote violence against the president of the United States, or against people on the right-wing. Those people were in plentiful supply. Politicians showed up. They spoke alongside radical agitators and organizers.

We’re all supposed to pretend that that never happened, speaking alongside terrorist supporters, people who despise the country. If you’re a politician, like Bernie Sanders or Chris Murphy from Connecticut, and you speak alongside Qatari mouthpiece Mehdi Hasan, or you speak alongside people who have openly promoted terrorism, that’s kind of a big deal.

My favorite moment of media coverage came when MSNBC interviewed a person dressed up as a unicorn.

(A rally is truly serious when people dress up as inflatable unicorns.)

Reporter: Angel, I’ve never interviewed a unicorn live on MSNBC.

Unicorn: Always a first time for everything.

Reporter: Angel. Talk as loud as you can. Because you got kind of a big snout here. … I’ll say that again. I said it’s hard to hear you, but tell me what brings you out and to be inside this high unicorn costume today?

Unicorn: Well, we’re here to represent the loving, hardworking community of Los Angeles. We’re here peacefully protesting, looking as ridiculous as we can, just so maybe we appeal to the president because he is a ridiculous leader that is normalizing abuse of power, and we cannot stand and act like nothing is happening.

Reporter: I’ve never heard a more serious message come out of a pink unicorn.

I don’t think that’s true because I think that half of the MSNBC staff are pink unicorns.

It was an impressive showing, with great intellects. People like actor John Cusack, who was last relevant when he was standing outside a bedroom window holding a boombox in a movie from 1989.

But if you thought that Cusack was the only old actor who showed up to pay tribute to the “No Kings” rally, I present to you: (drum roll) Robert De Niro, who seems to have chosen poorly when he drank from his choice of Holy Grails. He is now aging extraordinarily rapidly and also apparently turning into a hobbit.

He praised Letitia James, the attorney general of New York, for saying F.U. to Trump, (which she may be saying from jail soon, depending on how her mortgage falsification case goes).

“I like what Letitia James is doing,” he declared “She’s fighting back. She’s saying F*** you. … I will not be taken down by this person. I am not afraid of him.” He also had comments about Stephen Miller, calling Miller, who happens to be Jewish, a Nazi.

Bernie Sanders yelled, “We’re here because we’re going to do everything we can to honor the sacrifices of millions of men and women who, over the last 250 years, fought and sometimes died.”

I can’t take him seriously. Nothing you do can make me take him seriously, because he’s not a serious person. The fact that the Democratic Party has elevated him as an ideological thought leader after spending his entire life being a useless pustule on the ass of American society is indeed a reflection of what their party stands for.

Sanders spoke of how much these people loved America.

Yet there were a shocking number of non-American flags over the Washington, DC rally. There was a giant Palestinian flag in solidarity with Hamas, of course. In Los Angeles there were tons of Mexican flags, so many that the CNN reporter noted it.

Senator Ed Markey from Massachusetts decided that he was going to give a speech while donning a trans flag. J.B. Pritzker, the would-be presidential candidate from Illinois (who typically has to be lowered into these things by crane) stood in front of a bunch of signs, including a F*** ICE sign.

For the sake of his bodily health, I hope it was a very short march.

A Barry Manilow reunion tour would have been a heck of a lot less screechy.