El-Sayed Mocks Hegseth’s Athletic Career. Let’s Compare Notes.

Leave it to Michigan Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed to turn youth sports into a therapy-couch lecture on grievance, privilege, and mommy issues by attacking Secretary of War Pete Hegseth.

El-Sayed portrayed Hegseth as just another over-hyped benchwarmer coasting through life on the unearned high of baked cakes, custom fan-gear, and overbearing suburban parents rewarding mediocrity. El-Sayed even leaned hard into personal pity, whining that as a minority athlete whose folks never showed up, by his account, he at least learned never to take himself seriously.

“Everybody knows that guy from the locker room,” El-Sayed ranted.

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He continued:

He would have rode the pine. He probably got to start two games his entire career playing whatever sport he was and it made his life, and his parents came and cheered so hard for him. And as a kid whose parents never came, right, and started every game, part of me is just like, bro, I feel bad for you. Somebody told you a lot better than you really are. Like, there’s something about being a brown kid whose parents, like, you know, no matter what you do, you’re never enough. So what that means is that you never take yourself too seriously. You’re like, I’m never going to be enough. But for him, the very fact that he made the team, his mom was making cake, she was wearing his jersey, she had a cap made for him. You know the type. So I’m like, bro, you grew up thinking that you were somehow special, but you are not. And you have been living off that fume for the rest of your life.

El-Sayed went on this bizarre rant against Pete Hegseth — claiming that Hegseth "rode the pine" in "whatever sport he played" in high school.

He invoked Hegseth's mother (moms are fair game now, huh?), and claimed she was "the type" who would have worn her son's jersey to… pic.twitter.com/YEucHwxyWb

— Chuck Ross (@ChuckRossDC) October 30, 2026

There’s just one glaring problem with El-Sayed’s locker room psychoanalysis: reality completely air-balled him.

Before El-Sayed decided to play varsity shrink, Hegseth was actually tearing up the hardwood. At Forest Lake Area High School in Minnesota, Hegseth wasn’t just a starter; he was a lethal sniper who set school records for career three-pointers, single-season threes, and single-season shooting percentage.

Oh, and he was the class valedictorian to boot, later earning a spot in the school’s athletic hall of fame.

Hegseth then took his talents to Princeton. While he self-deprecatingly called himself a “slow six-footer” and mostly served as a reserve, Hegseth etched his name into team lore during a gritty 2003 clash against Columbia. Coming off the bench, Hegseth nailed two ice-cold three-pointers and dished out the assist for the game-winning basket. Then-Tigers coach John Thompson III praised him as a selfless spark plug who was “nothing but character.”

Meanwhile, what athletic pedestal is El-Sayed looking down from? A glorious collegiate run on the University of Michigan’s club lacrosse squad years before it was even a varsity program. In 2006, he managed to log zero points, zero assists, and zero statistics across 15 whole appearances. A ghost on the stat sheet lecturing an Ivy League champion on athletic grit.

El-Sayed has long treated American athletics as a cesspool of leftist grievances. When he isn’t brooding over Hegseth’s high school support system, he’s churning out boilerplate leftist bilge, penning diatribes about the NFL’s supposed “deep-rooted racism” and lamenting the “toxic masculinity at the heart of America’s most popular sport.”

Perhaps instead of whining about Hegseth’s parents cheering from the stands, the scoreless club lacrosse hero should ask why the Left insists on treating hard work, family encouragement, and clutch athletic performances as personal microaggressions.

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