How modern dating and 'the paradox of choice' are making men and women miserable

Gen Z was told casual sex was no big deal while being promised a future with a loving partner through dating apps.

Dr. Debra Soh says young people, especially young women, are now dealing with the consequences.

“I don’t think casual sex is good for either sex, but especially for women,” Soh tells BlazeTV host Allie Beth Stuckey, explaining that it’s “slightly different” for men.

“Women do tend to become more attached after sex. Whereas for men, hormonally it’s different,” she says.

While women release bonding hormones during sexual activity, Soh tells Stuckey that men’s hormones “go back to baseline.”

“So they actually disengage after sex and lose interest in their partner,” she says.

This is why Soh believes it’s “very irresponsible” that so many “feminist influencers and podcasters tell their young fans that they should be promiscuous or that they should have sex on the first date.”

“They’re telling their young fans to engage in behavior that is ultimately going to be self-destructive. And I do think this is an example of intrasexual competition in that women compete with other women and men compete with other men for sexual partners,” she explains.

“So I find that really sad, because I see it, especially with Gen Z women. I say Millennials, probably, too, really bought into this idea that having sex on the first date is not a big deal. That casual sex, if men can do it, women should do it,” she adds.

But it’s not just casual sex that’s killing modern love.

“You can kind of see some of the obvious issues with being able to swipe left or right,” Stuckey says. “It’s superficial. It’s based on aesthetics. But one thing that you said that I hadn’t thought about is that having more options is ... a historical anomaly.”

“So our ancestors before us did not have this roster of people within a 200-mile radius that they were judging based on a self-assessment and pictures,” she continues.

“The paradox of choice speaks to this,” Soh explains. “So there have been studies showing that ... when people are given fewer options, they’re more likely to actually make a choice and to be satisfied with that choice.”

“So when you’re on a dating app, it feels as though there is an unlimited number of potential partners. And so people are constantly seeking the next best thing,” she continues.

“I think there are very many of us who are just not present in terms of the dating process. … That’s a side effect of being online and just how so much of romantic interest or courtship is based through online connections or lack thereof, I suppose, nowadays,” she adds.

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