Outrage In D.C.: Teens Who Savagely Beat ‘Big Balls’ Walk Free With Slap On The Wrist

The teenagers who brutally assaulted DOGE employee Edward “Big Balls” Coristine have walked away with nothing more than probation—no jail, no meaningful punishment, no accountability.

Coristine, a 19-year-old staffer with the Department of Government Efficiency project and a rising star in the effort to clean up Washington, D.C.’s bloated federal bureaucracy, was savagely attacked by a mob of teenagers during an attempted carjacking in early August. The crime occurred in the nation’s capital, just blocks from the seat of American power.

Only two of the estimated dozen assailants were arrested: a 15-year-old boy and a 15-year-old girl. This week, in a D.C. courtroom, they pleaded guilty—not to attempted carjacking, not to robbery—but to simple assault, and were sentenced to the judicial equivalent of a participation trophy.

This was a racist verdict by a racist judge.

The simple test to apply is if the races has been reversed, the White kids would be in prison.

Equal justice for all! https://t.co/F8gZ8D3dg0

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 15, 2025

The boy received a one-year sentence of house arrest. The girl? A mere nine months’ probation and transfer to a local youth shelter. The court emphasized rehabilitation over punishment, and the judge reportedly scolded the girl for drawing on her hand in the courtroom—as if doodling in court were the actual offense.

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The attack was a violent ambush that left Coristine bloodied and concussed. Coristine told Jesse Watters of Fox News:

As we get to the car and she begins to fumble for the keys, they begin to shout at us, and really quickly I knew something was really off about this situation. So she unlocks the car, I rush her into the driving seat. I close the door behind her and she’s able to lock the doors. Right as I turn around, they’re right up on me — just a few feet away. They slammed me against the car and started throwing a bunch of punches. I keep my hands up. I’m getting a lot of punches here and I’m just trying to protect my head the best way that I can.

Footage of Coristine’s bruised face and torn clothes went viral. So egregious was the crime that President Donald Trump personally intervened, deploying the National Guard to D.C. and threatening to revoke the city’s home rule. “Crime is totally out of control,” he wrote on Truth Social. “Time to federalize D.C.” Elon Musk, former DOGE head, praised Coristine’s courage and called for urgent reform, saying, “It’s time to federalize D.C.”

But instead of consequences for the attackers, D.C.’s soft-on-crime system delivered a clear message: attack a federal employee in broad daylight and you’ll get a curfew and counseling.

The D.C. Attorney General and prosecutor objected to the light sentences—but their opposition was ignored. Instead, the court took pains to explain that juvenile justice is about rehabilitation, not punishment.

Even more galling: both teens are free to roam D.C.—so long as they claim it’s for school or “family obligations.”

Coristine, ever gracious, told one attacker via video, “I hope you can figure things out and be ready for the consequences.”

There were no consequences. Not for the criminals. Only for the city.