Sir Charles Gets Cold Feet About These Two Life Events And He Has A Point

Charles Barkley was not known for holding back on the basketball court during his 16 seasons in the NBA. After retiring and entering broadcasting, that trend continued, though his tools shifted from physical prowess to rhetorical flourishes. The man has opinions. Some are commonsense, some are controversial — such as the time he suggested that even Stevie Wonder could hit a free throw if given 23 chances to do so.

On a recent episode of Barstool Sports’ “Pardon My Take” podcast with Big Cat and PFT Commenter, he offered one of his more outlandish personal rules: he never attends weddings and only occasionally attends funerals. It sounds crazy. Only it’s not. When he explained his reasoning, it became apparent that Sir Chuck has a point, or at least a fourth or maybe even half of one.

When it comes to funerals, he will make exceptions for people who were “really special,” even though, in his words, they’re not going to know he was there. For more casual acquaintances, he’s staying home. In both situations, though, his justification for doing so is the same. As he told the two hosts, “I don’t really want to go and see somebody who I liked, the last time I saw him was dead, period.”

Fair point. I wholeheartedly agree with him. I’ll always regret walking past my grandfather’s casket when I was in the fourth grade. That body inside wasn’t him, or even the shell he was at the end after the stroke, and that image will stay with me until the day I die. It’s not a memory I want to be seared in my mind, but it’s never coming out.

Frankly, funerals aren’t really for the person who died; they’re for the family, so maybe Barkley could try my novel approach to attending. It’s pretty complicated and involves going but not walking past the casket during the viewing portion of the service. It’s a solid tactic and one that I strongly recommend everyone employ. Remember the person for who they were when they were still operating on this plane and skip that one last look.

His position on weddings is less defensible. He skips those because it’s the bride’s day and he doesn’t want to upstage her. I am not the man’s personal assistant. I do not know what weddings he’s being invited to. During that portion of “Pardon My Take,” he discussed turning down his invite to the recent low-key event at which Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce tied the knot.

If he skips weddings for non-famous people to avoid upstaging the bride, he’s got a point. It’s fairly easy to imagine the bride having a less-than-stellar day because the guests, at least the male guests, spent more time trying to get autographs and pictures with Chuck rather than focusing on her and the solemn joining of two into one. When the bride is Taylor Swift, though? Yeah, he’s not going to steal any of her sparkle.

It is important to note that when his daughter Christiana wed in 2021, Barkley did walk her down the aisle. Whether or not she shares her father’s views on weddings and funerals is unknown. What is known, though, is that the Round Mound of Rebound is at least honest when RSVPing rather than making up excuses, and in an increasingly discourteous world, that’s worth something.

But, Charles, if you’re reading this, please send a gift from the registry for the happy celebrations. Or flowers for celebrations that end with the phrase “of life.” You may not understand how the internet works, but there are people you can call to handle such tasks for you.

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Rich Cromwell is a writer living in Northwest Arkansas. He produces the Cookin’ Up a Story podcast, which you can listen to here. You can also follow him on X: @rcromwell4