The Jokes of 9/11

As someone paid to deal with the news each day, it is perhaps not in my best interest to admit that almost everything that comes across your X news feed is disposable. Whatever news has you hot and bothered today, whatever juicy entertainment gossip has you licking your chops, whatever fills the late-night comic’s monologue may well be forgotten come morning.

I can prove it.

Twenty-five summers ago, I was freelancing for “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.” Late each night, I would fax over to the Burbank studio a list of jokes for potential use the next night. Maybe one would get picked, and I’d make $50. Maybe not.

Nonetheless, I’d write about a dozen jokes on the hottest topics in news and entertainment, the stuff that was top of mind, dominating the headlines. While President George W. Bush was no Bill Clinton when it came to generating source material for humor, there was always plenty to write about. Always something that had America buzzing.

One particular Monday night in September, I typed up some jokes, headlined the sheet with the next day’s date, fed the fax machine, and went to sleep.

I awoke to the phone ringing. It was my mother’s phone number, but my sister Julie’s voice.

“Dodie’s alright! She’s on foot! We’re going to go get her!”

What’s that mean? Our sister’s car broke down?

She repeated, “Dodie’s alright! She’s on foot! We’re going to go get her!”

“What are you talking about?”

“America’s under attack! The Twin Towers have collapsed! The Pentagon’s been hit!“

Dear God. Dodie worked at the Pentagon.

The date was that of my joke sheet: Sept. 11, 2001.

What Was on the Joke Sheet?

What was America talking about when that day started?

The greatest fuel for jokes going into Sept. 11, the big topic in politics, was a scandal surrounding Rep. Gary Condit of California.

Who?

My point exactly.

Condit had been having an affair with a congressional intern named Chandra Levy. Levy had disappeared, was still missing, and questions swirled over whether Condit had something to do with it. His evasive, defensive answers in interviews made the story even bigger fodder. After all, all Clinton did to get Monica Lewinsky out of the way was ship her over to the Pentagon.

Also, 2001 was the “Summer of the Shark.” Labor Day weekend had seen several more attacks. Swimmers were the new white meat.

In the entertainment world, Michael Jackson had fainted at a post-concert party at New York’s Tavern on the Green. Nobody worried at first because his face had already turned ashen.

All those stories vanished from the national conscience the minute the first plane hit the North Tower. And jokes were the last thing from my mind when I learned just how close my sister had come to getting killed.

All trivialities disappeared under the smoke engulfing the Manhattan streets, the flames pouring out of the Pentagon, the hole in a field in Pennsylvania.

Alan Jackson would sing about it in his heartbreaking “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning).” “Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer. And look at yourself and what really matters?”

What Is in the News Today?

The difference between what really matters and what occupies our news cycle and stokes our ire struck hard last week.

An ex-girlfriend had messaged me infuriated by a headline she’d spotted. “Trump administration considering trading Yosemite land to private developer.” Another article proving corrupt Donald Trump was Ol’ Scratch and I was his hype man. Turns out the project in question was being pushed by Clinton right-hand man Lanny Davis, not a Trump person. The story would soon vanish.

Similarly, a news story I wrote that same day, which generated its own righteous anger on the red side of the fence, also disappeared within 24 hours.

What was gained by the dual angst? What was lost?

What really matters?

As the 9/11 anniversary approaches, it still really matters what happened that day. And as the Heritage Foundation’s Todd Bensman wrote for the Daily Signal, it still really matters why it happened. Because the threat remains real. Someone else’s sister or brother has a bullseye on his or her back.

But does it really matter that New York Gov. Kathy Hochul tossed “my body, my choice” out the window to toss on a hijab while speaking to Muslim men … two weeks before the 9/11 anniversary? It does … if you write topical humor.

What’s in Our Heart Tomorrow?

With 9/11, top of mind, I’m looking at 3,000 reasons why it’s folly to hyperventilate over Trump renaming Lake Ontario. Or melt down over AOC turning her eggs into icicles. Or blow a gasket over Hakeem Jeffries meeting with Jared Kushner.

It’s a thief of what matters, like old friends, new adventures, seismic shifts both geological or geopolitical, taking a turn on a dance floor, or turning through the Bible.

The 9/11 anniversary offers a prime opportunity to ask some hard questions: Am I talking to God or am I crapping on a stranger on X? Am I loving my neighbor or walking by with my face in my phone?

Do I want to be someone who in the course of the day says, “Oh, my God, did you see this?” more than I look up to heaven and say, “Oh, my Lord”?

The terrorists of 9/11 stole 3,000 lives. We must never forget that horror. And yes, we must hold to account anyone who wants us to forget it or rationalize it away.

Yes, those in the news business must edify and illuminate the events and trends shaping our world.

And yes, we must also allow ourselves to observe and share with good humor and grace the follies and foibles of our leaders. After all, laugher is the best medicine and doesn’t come with a copay.

But when we become a slave to the news cycle or succumb to the algorithm-driven passion of fleeting furies, we let an even greater enemy steal our souls.

And that it no joke.

We publish a variety of perspectives. Nothing written here is to be construed as representing the views of the Daily Signal.

More from this network:
Domains for Sale · GOTPeople.org · TheDSAPlatform · The Truth About Socialism