Tom Cruise goes bald, fat, and Southern. Blaze comics approve.

Sep 02, 2026 - 16:00
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Tom Cruise goes bald, fat, and Southern. Blaze comics approve.
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Tom Cruise, made famous by his action-hero roles in the “Mission: Impossible” and “Top Gun” films, is almost unrecognizable in the upcoming movie “Digger” — a dark satirical comedy set to hit theaters October 2. The 64-year-old star plays Digger Rockwell, a fat, balding Southern oil billionaire with a comb-over and thick accent whose company triggers a global ecological disaster that could start a nuclear war.

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On this episode of “Stu and Dave Do America,” BlazeTV host and comedian extraordinaire Dave Landau is joined by Angela Boggs to recap Tom Cruise’s wild new role, tease “Days of Thunder 2,” and run a Cruise-obsessed funeral-home skit.

“They age [Cruise] so much to look old, but he's really just one year older,” says Dave, highlighting how Cruise looks more his age as Digger Rockwell than he does off-screen.

The difference is so stark, he can’t help but joke, “Tom Cruise did not even use prosthetics; he just stopped drinking baby blood for a few weeks.”

Jokes aside, Dave is interested in seeing the movie.

“The thing I will admit about Tom Cruise is I'm usually entertained by his movies,” he confesses.

He then plays a Cruise-inspired skit, in which he and Angela play Mr. and Mrs. Rollins — a couple who visit “Glamorous Funeral Home” directed by former flair bartender and die-hard Cruise fan Jack Glamorous, who puts “the fun back in the funeral.”

From one Cruise spectacle to another, the pair also preview “Days of Thunder 2,” which Dave says people have been begging for “since 1990.” Cruise will return as NASCAR driver Cole Trickle alongside Anne Hathaway, who co-stars as a team owner and engineer.

Even though it’s not set to release until summer 2028, Angela is already chomping at the bit to see it.

“I think that this has the potential to really just like heal the world,” she says.

To hear more and watch the duo’s hilarious skit, check out the episode above.

Want more from Stu and Dave?

To enjoy more of Stu and Dave's lethal blend of wit, humor, and insightful commentary subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

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Fibis

I am just an average American. My teen years were in the late 70s and I participated in all that that decade offered. Started working young, too young. Then I joined the Army before I graduated High School. I spent 25 years in, mostly in Infantry units. Since then I've worked in information technology positions all at small family owned companies. At this rate I'll never be a tech millionaire. When I was young I rode horses as much as I could. I do believe I should have been a cowboy. I'm getting in the saddle again by taking riding lessons and see where it goes.

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