Fighting Antisemitism, One Luxury Retreat At A Time

It must be nice. Constantly jetting off to luxurious White Lotus-style retreat-cations, gathering with one’s spiritual sisters as they uncover the “remarkable legacy” of the world’s most destructive and fastest-growing religion, hanging out by the pool with softened hearts and nourished souls, and singing Kumbayallah in beautifully landscaped gardens. Only to return home to one’s mansion on a gated property, where a private chef serves every meal, feeling refreshed and ready for the laborious task of creating sub-par ceramic plates. Plates that feature images of one’s own face, with the nose depicted larger than it needs to be. Because who wouldn’t want to enjoy some bananas and rice off that schnoz?

I’m speaking, of course, of the wife of New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani, Rama Duwaji, who, for the dozenth time this year, carted off to a foreign country for thousands of dollars to attend an Islamic wellness retreat.

It begs the question: Is Islam seriously making these people this unwell that they need the equivalent of an Islamic juice cleanse every three to four weeks? Is it possible that all of the Arabic calligraphy, Quran-honoring, and “marvelous illustration workshops” are, in some way, palliative poisons?

Potentially. But who cares! It’s a luxury vacation. Why stick around in the disgusting and crumbling city her New York hubby is working to worsen, when she could hang out with the hijabers, under the fake name “Karl Holland” (weird), on the beaches of Portugal?

Another question for Ms. Duwaji: Does the chador interfere with achieving that sun-kissed look featured on the retreat’s Instagram page? I wouldn’t want y’all to get an uneven tan!

Hilariously, the same month that New York’s first lady flew off to this luxury Islamic retreat for a mere $5,216, a retreat that openly celebrates Palestinian terrorism, libels Israel as an apartheid state, and calls for abolishing all of Israel and its Jews, her husband announced he HAD A PLAN! to combat antisemitism.

A plan! Or maybe just concepts of a plan?

The greatest plan would be for him to resign and self-deport, but instead his concepts include praising the Jews for all of the revenue they bring into the city, promising a whopping $1 million in security for places of worship, and a listening tour with the Jewish community.

Maybe instead he could just sponsor all the Jews in New York to go on an Islamic wellness retreat.

Breathe inallah, breathe outallah.

It’s a rich bit of hypocrisy. Mamdani has refused to condemn “globalize the intifada,” claims the boots of the NYPD are laced by the Israeli Defense Forces, and poses with unindicted terrorists. His wife, about as warm as Vladimir’s Russia in winter, doesn’t seem to have much affinity for Jews either, judging by her “likes” on Hamas posts and her praise of plane hijackers.

So how does the mister plan on exterminating the antisemitism in his own house? Is that why he keeps sending her off on retreats from the river to the sea? To physically remove it from New York?

If so, the cure looks a lot like the disease. On these retreats, the Israel-hatred doesn’t get rinsed out; instead, it intensifies. The group leader of this “Women Sanctuary,” Rym Nur, has called for abolishing Israel, a cleansing of Jews, and praised pro-Hamas radicals days after October 7. Meanwhile, this specific retreat was hosted in a castle known as the “death doula,” complete with a “death garden.”

Cute. Who wouldn’t want to fork over $14,000 to fly to Lisbon for all that nourishing hatred? This “Ode to Allah” is probably worth every dollar. Inshallah. Just don’t forget to bring your burkinis. We’re going swimming, ladies!

It’s the smartest thing this mayor’s ever done: “Fighting antisemitism” by signing his wife up for faraway retreats every other week. Just next time, Zohran, maybe tell her not to come back.

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