Hot Girl Summer Turned Into The Summer Of Socialist Scaries

It’s like discovering a spider on a log, lifting it up, and finding hundreds of insects swarming underneath, then realizing the log itself is hollowed out, structurally compromised, and has been for years. That’s the Democratic Socialists of America. They’ve been there the whole time, chewing through the party’s foundation in the dark, but the infestation is worse than anyone thought, and it just molted into something with a lot more legs.

Zohran Mamdani may have been the socialist spider, but his colony is vast, well-funded, and breeding faster than anyone can stomp it out. On Tuesday, Ethiopia-born socialist Melat Kiros unseated 15-term progressive incumbent Rep. Diana DeGette in Colorado, and she didn’t just win, she devoured a woman who has held that Denver seat since before Kiros was born.

Somehow, Kiros made poor DeGette, a career leftist who spent 30 years voting for Medicare for All and campaigning to abolish ICE, look like a DeRepublican, which tells you how far the infestation has spread.

This radical, as they all seemingly are, comes with a rap sheet. Kiros told a Denver news anchor she believes 9/11 was the “inevitable consequence” of American foreign policy, the same framework she used when describing Hamas’s October 7 massacre as an “inevitable consequence of apartheid.” When directly asked whether the September 11 attacks were inevitable, she said yes. Her own primary opponent, DeGette, of all people, was so appalled she released a statement calling it out: “9/11 wasn’t inevitable, it was an act of terror that killed thousands of Americans.” When it takes Diana DeGette to be the voice of reason on domestic terrorism, the colony has officially eaten its way past the point of return.

Kiros also repeatedly declined to call the 2025 Boulder firebombing, an attack that targeted Jewish demonstrators rallying for hostages that left one woman dead, an act of antisemitism. Even three of her own progressive pals publicly broke with her over it. She wants to abolish ICE, grant full citizenship to every illegal immigrant, and says one of her top priorities is ending the “genocide” in Palestine.

Luckily for her, it never started!

But her entire platform is rooted in a hatred towards America and the West. She’s headed to Congress to join a growing swarm of DSA-backed freshmen, all interchangeable, all promising to trade your freedoms for a security blanket they have no intention of actually providing.

In scarier news, Hasan Piker, a wannabe Vladimir Lenin who’s commie-coupled up with Socialist Mayor Mamdani, just raised $54,000 for Francesca Hong, the DSA candidate running for Wisconsin governor. Hong was born to non-citizen parents on student visas. To no one’s surprise, her platform reads like something laid by the same queen: repeal Act 10 (it eliminated fair-share agreements for general municipal employees), universal childcare, free school meals, abolish ICE, an AI data center moratorium, government-run grocery stores, and, naturally, “free Palestine.”

Perfect.

In her sit-down with the Pied Piker, which now functions as a mandatory confirmation hearing for every DSA candidate in America, Hong declared that her “grassroots community” will overthrow the “establishment Dems” and restore socialism to Wisconsin, the place where, she claimed, it was “born.”

Weird. I was under the impression socialism was born in 19th-century Europe and has since been field-tested in the Soviet Union, Maoist China, and Venezuela, where it reliably ended in famine, mass graves, or a country reduced to bartering for toilet paper. The Holodomor alone starved an estimated 3.9 million Ukrainians. But sure, maybe the cheese state is where the infestation finally learns to behave.

Genius.

The DSA playbook is simple and entomologically precise: identify campus larvae, incubate them in street organizing, let them pupate into MSNOW candidates, release them in the bluest districts available, and feed off the Democratic Party’s host body until they’re strong enough to consume it whole. Bonus points if your parents fled to America for opportunity, and you’ve repaid that opportunity by gnawing at the foundation that housed you.

As our editor emeritus would say, they’re the “leeches on the ass of society.”

DeGette spent three decades building progressive credentials, and it still wasn’t enough. She got primaried from her left by a terror sympathizer. If that’s the new bar, the Democratic Party isn’t dealing with a pest problem anymore. Their house is rotted to the core, and it would appear that no one feels compelled to call the exterminator.

Man, it sure would be lovely to have a strong judicial backing against birthright citizenship right about now.