Last Frontier? Or Last Loophole?

“It should be a criminal offense to lie or mislead the electorate. Yes, YES!” So declares Mary Peltola, the two-faced, tree-hugging, leftist scoundrel running for Senate in Alaska.

She delivered this sermon to a crowd of Alaskans she has, indubitably, lied to and misled.

On Wednesday, The New York Times published an astonishing admission, one of the cycle’s biggest October surprises. I suspect it pained them beyond all belief, because it makes Democrats look worse than Jamie West after three beers.

According to the Times, Peltola’s campaign scoured the state for any man (or woman — it’s rude to assume gender) named Dan Sullivan willing to run against incumbent Republican Senator Dan Sullivan, all to “dilute the incumbent’s support and help catapult the Democrats to victory.”

This. Is. Batshiz.

Maybe they took inspiration from fellow Democrat John F. Kennedy, whose supporters reportedly recruited a second Joseph Russo to muddy his 1946 congressional primary against, you guessed it, Joseph Russo. Or maybe they’re simply evil hyenas.

We’ll go with the latter.

The Times says the endeavor, which Peltola’s posse dubbed the “ballot composition project,” “involved secret trips to far-flung Alaskan communities and the appearance of a mysterious Midwestern operative, who traversed the state using a fake name and made his pitch to would-be candidates over beers at brew pubs.”

Huh. Just think what humanity might accomplish if we weren’t squandering our free will on frivolous, foul pursuits and corrupting innocent pubs.

But the pursuit bore fruit, however rotten. They found a “retired teacher from a tiny fishing village along the Alaska Panhandle, reachable only by air and sea.” His name: Dan J. Sullivan. Soon after, this weasel, who had previously worked with Democrats, including Peltola herself, registered as a Republican and filed for Senate. How perfect.

Even Alaska’s own Republican-led Division of Elections judged his candidacy misleading and tried to keep him off the ballot, until the state supreme court overruled them on June 29. Big mistake.

Dan the Dupe, as I call him, took 2.5% of the primary vote, and surprise! Senator Sullivan is trailing Mary Peltola by a mere 2.5% in some polls.

Thanks to Democrat policy, it’s all too easy to add these poison apples to the ballot barrel. America’s Icebox holds nonpartisan top-four primaries, so candidates can easily claim any party affiliation on the ballot without a party’s blessing. Plus, its “ranked choice voting,” which supporters pinky-swear makes elections freer and less polarizing, is easy to game. Which Democrats, obviously, adore. 

The only kink in the plan came after the primary, in the form of David Leslie, the fourth-place finisher, a Democrat who could have siphoned votes away from Ms. Peltola. So Democrats did what Democrats do: offered not-so-subtle threats. After a few phone calls, a few winks, and a few nods from Peltola’s people, Mr. Leslie dropped out of the race.

Shockingly (no one was shocked), this scheme reportedly involved Petty Peltola’s campaign lawyers and senior aides at the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, chaired by New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. The party is polluted with corruption. 

And they make light of it. They laugh and point at you from behind their iron curtain.

“Do we have a scheme for you,” wrote a consultant for the Peltola campaign. And another pollster in their chats wrote that one corruptible voter seemed like the perfect audience “for our ballot strategy plan :)” Smile! You’re on camera! Being manipulated!

Peltola knew all of it, yet she’s spent months telling voters otherwise, and she’s still at it, calling the whole affair a distraction! Don’t you get it? You and I are basically just housecats, pawing at a toy mouse dangled by the evil MAGA bigots!

Or maybe, voters aren’t as dim as Democrats assume. Maybe we caught on months before the Times begrudgingly published this story, if only to get ahead of the backlash. Maybe the Trump administration had rhyme and reason, a method to the MAGA madness, when its Justice Department sued on October 22 to block Alaska from certifying a Peltola win until it investigated the extent of the voter confusion.

Maybe Trump was right about everything all along.

It certainly feels as though most “right-wing conspiracy theories” are vindicated a few months after the media brands us crazy.

Hopefully it’s not too late. Hopefully the real Dan can overcome this. Hopefully Democrats will cease corrupting every agency, policy, and law, and quit hollering “fascism” the moment things don’t go their way.

I’m hopeful about the first two. The third belongs in the “miracle” category, right beside frontal lobe reattachment, which, as I’ve pointed out before, is the only known cure for Chokingonyourownhypocrisy Syndrome. It’s a condition that has now spread to the Last Frontier, or, as Democrats see it, the Last Loophole.

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