Madonna’s Coachella Stunt At 67 Has Fans Asking One Blunt Question

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After teasing her upcoming album, Madonna, 67, stepped out at Coachella’s final weekend, practically matching in lingerie with 26-year-old Sabrina Carpenter. Maybe age is just a number, but when you’re relying on whatever fabric got the job of separating the world from your hoo-hoo, we’re all faced with the fact that sex doesn’t sell well as celebrities age. 

Almost half a century after the Queen of Pop made history by rolling around in a 1980s cutout tunic, leggings, and a rosary-as-a-necklace for “Like A Virgin,” Madonna’s elderly eroticism feels less provocative and more “drunk mom talent show.” 

Madonna last appeared at Coachella back in 2006 singing “Hung Up,” which opens with the hypnotic line, “Time goes by so slowly.” This year, the sprightly sexagenarian returned to duet “Vogue” and “Like A Prayer” during Carpenter’s set. One of Madonna’s old lyrics goes, “Oh God, I think I’m falling.” Slightly catchier than “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” from that retro medical alarm ad. 

I promise I’m not ageist. But after Madonna popped a squat on stage, I was legitimately impressed that she was able to stand up just as fast as her 20-something co-star. Whatever she’s on, it’s working. I only hope my knees work as well when my AARP card arrives in the mail.

Maybe Madge was trying to relive her glory days in the same purple boots, corset, and Gucci jacket from the last time she stopped by Coachella, but she’s still got it. Or she’s got the shapewear for it. Still, as Madonna continues to dabble in a “custom grills and shaving-my-eyebrows-off” era, not everyone’s convinced that if ya got it, you should definitely flaunt it. Especially once you’ve aged out of overflow parking behind the fountain of youth. 

“We are stuck with all the geriatrics who don’t know when to sit down,” someone posted on X, post-Chella. Another observed on Facebook, “[Madonna] seemed to have a problem walking down the stairs during ‘Vogue’ and seemed quite out of breath during ‘Like A Prayer.’”

Someone else noted, “Madonna doesn’t dance anymore; she just walked back and forth, to the point that even Sabrina had to stop dancing and tone down all her moves … You could even see it in her eyes when she took off her glasses — she just wanted to go to sleep.”

Fans backed the Material Girl with a series of “shook” and “power” posts. But the lackluster response from a live audience obsessed with recording, not dancing, proved Madonna didn’t stick the landing. A Redditor posted, “They honestly probably barely know anything about Madonna & definitely don’t know those songs.” 

Maybe the most candid moment happened when Madonna said of Carpenter, “She’s a magician. She’s gonna make me disappear,” as she was lowered offstage through the world’s slowest trap door. “Madonna, everybody,” Carpenter said with Gen Z enthusiasm. As far as the Coachella crowd was concerned, Madonna had just vanished from existence. 

So if it doesn’t inspire new audiences, and it raises the eyebrows of your established fanbase, why are aging stars obsessed with clinging to their once-sexy looks? Don’t call it a comeback; call it “empowerment” — but with the adverse effect of making these former trailblazers even less relevant. 

I’d love to cite the entire “Real Housewives” franchise as an example, but the Orange County cast’s 2025 trip to “AmsterD*MN” proves the point. Allegedly egged on by producers, the ladies hit the streets in lacy cutout looks that left little to the imagination (as tourists dressed in age-appropriate khaki pants and Tevas observed). Fellow Bravo star Jeff Lewis commented, “How do we get the message across … that they need to start dressing more appropriately? I feel like, dress your age … it’s time to start covering up.” While some suggested that Lewis should zip it, others agreed. “Omg! Yes!!!! Thank you, Jeff, it’s trashy AF.”

With roughly 11 years of youth on Madonna, Jennifer Lopez has also never met a bedazzled bodysuit she didn’t like. Looking fit and fierce at 56, she seems nowhere near closing up shop on Jenny from the Block. She sees the hate, explaining on stage during her Vegas residency, “I can just ignore a lot of it.” When a fan asked why she was “always naked,” she replied, “If you had this booty, you’d be naked, too,” before strutting away so fans could get a good look, slightly obscured by her beaded skirt. 

The most gorgeous woman at Coachella wasn’t Madonna, Sabrina Carpenter, Kylie, or Kendall Jenner, Teyana Taylor, or even Hailey Bieber. According to social media’s fickle barometer, the “most beautiful woman alive” was an Australian influencer named Leah Halton. Don’t know who she is? It won’t matter in a few days that her thrashed boho desert looks had Instagrammers dubbing her so “perf” she had to be AI.

Maybe the real problem for stars like Madonna and JLo is that the fresh faces making headlines limit our bandwidth for appreciating their hard work. (I’m tired just thinking about the time and dedication required to keep up those figures.) But there seems to be a way to age more gracefully in the public eye without the gaudy costuming and world-class narcissism.

She wasn’t at Coachella, but actress Dame Helen Mirren celebrates every hard-earned wrinkle at 80. She dresses in a way that flatters her soulful glow. But don’t patronize her by telling her she looks good for her age. “It’s insulting. We hate that compliment,” she says. 

She appeared on Allure magazine when the brand officially banned the term “anti-aging,” she’s been a longtime ambassador for L’Oreal, and she has this bit of advice for the rest of us. “Women, you want to look great, but you don’t want to look 15 when you’re 55. You can’t. It’s impossible. And you don’t actually want to; you want to look like a beautiful, cool, energetic … 55-year-old!” As for life at 80, she does whatever fabulous thing she wants, adding, “F*ck it, I’m alive,” for as long as she’s here.