The Golden State’s Pinky-Promise Elections Beg For Transparency

Well, well, well.

It feels good, constantly being vindicated as a Republican, even when vindication means waiting patiently for years while being branded a bigoted, lying, conspiratorial scoundrel in the interim.

Los Angeles election officials just told a federal court that they have no independent way to verify citizenship beyond what voters pinky-promise, and certainly no way to do it within this election period.

Oh! Isn’t that just darling? 

Then, on the heels of that revelation, the snarky wannabe president Gavin Newscum took a break from saying “literally” every two sentences, flirting with his staff, and pandering to black people by pretending he can’t read, to admit that yes, noncitizen voter registration and voting does happen.

This follows the Trump Justice Department’s charges against 28 noncitizens, all lawful permanent residents, accused of illegally registering to vote or voting, including a 72-year-old Belize-born man accused of casting ballots in four elections. Separately, federal investigators have flagged more than 20,000 California registrants they believe are likely noncitizens, a number the DOJ says will probably climb.

But, to literally no one’s shock or horror, California let the 48-hour deadline to verify those names lapse. Los Angeles County wouldn’t even open the thumb drive, so the Justice Department sued. With zero independent way to confirm citizenship, the true number is likely larger than what has been found.

It’s very simple. Election workers give noncitizens ballots. They go to the polls. They cast their votes. No regulation, no verification, just fraud. This guy, Kamlesh Shah, just told us exactly that.

This is illegal on multiple counts, and California is enabling it. Under 18 U.S.C. § 611, it is unlawful for any alien to vote in an election held solely or in part to elect a candidate for federal office. And under 18 U.S.C. § 2, whoever commits a federal offense, or aids, abets, counsels, commands, induces, or procures it, is punishable as a principal. The DOJ has also warned that election workers who knowingly process or count noncitizens’ ballots could face prosecution.

Look out, Newscummy! Aiding and abetting this nonsense is a crime.

Meanwhile, the artificial news keeps rushing to its editorial pages to parrot the same tune: “Okay, yes, it’s happening, but it’s only a small handful of people!”

Well, that’s just it, you idiots. We were reliably told by your blue-hearted overlords that no one was illegally voting. Now some people are. Next thing you know, the headline will read, “Yes, Noncitizens Are Voting. But It’s a Good Thing.”

In July, New Jersey’s Democratic governor, Mikie Sherrill, conceded that roughly 6,600 noncitizens had been registered to vote, an error she blamed on the state’s DMV software, and that fewer than 400 went on to cast ballots. That may sound like a rounding error in a state of 6.9 million registered voters. Tell it to a candidate who loses by 399.

Last week, a foreign national was accused of illegally voting in the 2024 presidential election in Minnesota. Mukeshkumar Somahbai is accused of knowingly making a false claim of American citizenship to cast a ballot. I wonder which way he swings politically.

Yesterday, Newscummy admitted that illegal voting is happening in both California and everywhere. But don’t ask for more information, don’t pass the SAVE Act, and don’t dare bring it up again! They’re far too busy passing laws to criminalize investigative journalism that uncovers fraud against taxpayers on behalf of the illegal.

We live in the upside down.

California should verify the list and hand over its voter rolls for cleaning. Obviously. If only a “handful” of illegal voters turn up, then fine. Great. Sacramento can take a victory lap. But even one illegal vote is one too many, a quiet theft from the hardworking citizen whose ballot it cancels out. And this isn’t an abstract worry: the Justice Department points out that California races have been decided by a few hundred votes. A few hundred. Against 20,000 question marks.

Transparency is the cheapest vindication. If the rolls are sparkling, California has nothing to fear. So verify, Sacramento. Count the citizens and let the chips fall where the law says they must. But typically, where there is smoke, there is fire, and this time the smoke isn’t just from the rampant wildfires worsened by Democratic governance. And it isn’t from the smoke being blown up Newscummy’s *ss by his younger female staff.

It’s coming from obvious fraud that once upon a time was just a right-wing conspiracy theory.