Why The ‘Cornell 7’ Story Didn’t Actually Start Inside A Frat House

I’m not going to litigate the “Cornell Seven” case here.

There are police interviews, text messages, conflicting accounts, and serious allegations. Everyone has already picked through the evidence and decided what they think happened inside that fraternity house.

If you want to know where I stand on that part, my colleague Chloe Trapanotto has a pretty good hot take you can watch here.

But come back, because my hot take is about the parents.

Why are we still paying for our kids to join fraternities and sororities?

The woman at the center of the Cornell case says she was drugged and sexually assaulted by multiple men at the Chi Phi fraternity house. Whatever you think happened that night, Cornell’s own numbers on Greek life should make every parent uncomfortable.

In Cornell’s 2025 survey, 52% of undergraduate women affiliated with Greek life who responded said they had experienced sexual assault since arriving at the university. Among women who weren’t affiliated with Greek life, it was 29%. The survey had a low response rate, so no, that does not mean 52% of every sorority at Cornell has been sexually assaulted. But Cornell’s own task force highlighted the difference. It also found that 20% of reported assaults occurred at fraternity chapter houses.

I have a daughter and a son.

There is not a chance in hell I’m paying for either of them to join one.

We spend their entire childhood warning them about alcohol, drugs, peer pressure, dangerous situations, and making stupid decisions that can change their lives. Then they turn 18 and somehow parents are expected to write another check so they can join a social club where drinking and parties are a pretty significant part of the culture.

Make that make sense.

And yes, I know there is value in some of it. People make lifelong friends in Greek life. They find a community away from home.

I’m sure plenty of people met the person who later helped them land a job. But as a parent, I still have to look at what I’m paying for and ask whether it’s worth it.

It’s also worth asking if Greek life — what that looks like in terms of priorities, goals, and skills — matches not only what employers are looking for, but what makes for a nourished soul. What happens if a college student invests time and money building a “network” they end up not using? There’s no guarantee a graduate even uses his degree in his eventual career, let alone a Greek affiliation.

And when it comes to shaping a whole person, are questions like where to get the best deal on a keg or what outfit coordinates with the school colors more crucial to personal development, or is exploring your faith or deeper questions about humanity a better use of your time? College used to be about preparing young people to enter society as better-developed, well-rounded people, not about how many stories you can accumulate about Saturday night ragers or reprimands from the House Mother. And if it’s structure or discipline your kids are after, might I suggest the nearest military recruiting office?

I’m not so sure about paying thousands of dollars for my kid to spend more time at parties, around more alcohol, in a culture where Cornell’s own numbers show Greek-affiliated women reported sexual assault at a much higher rate than their peers. And if I have a son, I’m supposed to pay for him to put himself in that same environment where one drunken night can blow up his life too?

Why would I pay extra for any of that when those are the exact years my kids could be getting a head start on becoming adults?

And I say this as someone who desperately wanted to join a sorority.

I went to a tiny liberal arts college where Greek life was basically the social life. It was also, truth be told, where I started wondering whether liberals and I were actually living on the same planet.

I wasn’t raised in some conservative bubble. My parents are Democrats. One of my sisters is very far Left. Our family group chat is exactly as enjoyable as you’re imagining.

When I got to college, though, I wasn’t thinking about politics. I was thinking, “How am I going to make friends?”

I found a little group of girls pretty quickly, and they were all joining the same sorority. I wanted in.

But of course, one upperclassman who just happened to be the Queen Bee of the popular sorority didn’t like me.

So that was that. And yes, I was devastated and embarrassed.

Fast forward, and now I should probably send her a thank-you card.

My friends suddenly had meetings, mandatory events, mixers, themed outfits, and rules about which fraternity they were partying with that night. Think “Mean Girls,” liberal arts college edition, except you’re paying dues for the privilege.

And that’s what I still don’t understand.

Everyone who loved Greek life will tell me, “You’re not paying for friends. You’re paying for connections.”

Are you?

Because I didn’t pay for either.

Once I got over feeling left out, I put my time into broadcast journalism. I landed internships at networks in New York and London. I met lawmakers. During spring break senior year, I spent five days driving to local television stations with résumés in my car, walking through the front door and asking if I could see the news director.

Sometimes I made it past the receptionist. Sometimes I didn’t.

By graduation, I was the only person in my class with a job already lined up in my field.

So forgive me if I don’t think my parents needed to pay a sorority to help me network.

Looking back, I didn’t miss out on four years of college. I got a four-year head start on my life. While my friends were spending hours every week on meetings, mixers, and sorority obligations, I was figuring out how to get someone at a television station to hire me.

And parents are paying real money for this.

At Cornell, costs vary by chapter, but some run into the thousands before housing and dining. For spring 2026, Pi Kappa Alpha listed $3,200 in current-member dues and a $2,300 initiation fee. Alpha Delta Phi listed $4,850 in dues and $2,700 in other new-member fees.

“They’re adults. You can’t tell them they can’t join.”

Correct.

But you can tell them they can pay for it themselves.

If I’m financing school, my daughter isn’t joining a sorority and my son isn’t joining a fraternity.

Although that assumes I’m financing a four-year college in the first place.

I’d rather my kids go to trade school.

We’ve watched tuition explode while universities built massive bureaucracies that have nothing to do with teaching kids how to make a living. DEI has become its own campus industry. We watched speakers get shouted down and political activism seep into classrooms. Parents are expected to hand over tens of thousands of dollars and trust that the people teaching their 18-year-olds share their definition of an education.

Not so fast.

Gallup found in 2026 that just 23% of Republicans had a great deal or quite a lot of confidence in higher education. Cost, political agendas, and concerns about what colleges are teaching were among the reasons Americans gave for this lack of confidence.

I get it.

If my son wants to become an electrician, make good money, and eventually start his own business, I’ll be thrilled. If my daughter finds a trade she loves and can start her adult life without drowning in student loans, I’ll help her pack.

If either wants a career that actually requires college, fine. We’ll have that conversation.

But I’m done with the idea that every successful 18-year-old needs four years on a college campus.

And I’m definitely not paying extra to extend my kid’s adolescence with four more years of mixers and house parties when they could be getting a head start on an actual life.

At 18, I thought getting rejected from that sorority was awful.

It turned out I had more time to work, intern, make actual connections, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

That queen bee did me a favor.

My kids won’t have to wait around to see if theirs does too.

If I’m paying the bill, there won’t be a rush week to begin with.

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