Why Where You Live Could Make Or Break Your Marriage
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When you’re trying to find a spouse, it’s helpful to know where marriages are actually occurring. This is why the Institute for Family Studies, where I do research, revealed the locations where single young adults are particularly likely, or unlikely, to get married in a given year. Once a couple does get married, they face an equally important question: What is the best place to settle down and raise a family?
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For many young adults, the answer (and rightly so) will be where their own parents and in-laws live. Having relatives nearby makes raising kids much easier. However, another factor worth considering is the share of married couples in a given area — in other words, whether married couples are common or uncommon in a particular location.
This is for two main reasons. First, a high percentage of married couples within a region suggests that it is a good place to raise a family. Perhaps this is due to better job opportunities and schools, higher affordability, or lower crime rates. Given that families vote with their feet, it’s worth paying attention to regions that attract especially high shares of married individuals.
Second, having lots of other married couples nearby can be a major benefit for spouses. They’ll have more friends with whom they can go on double dates, more playmates for their kids, and a larger support network to help them when they go through challenging periods.
Therefore, to better understand how common marriage is across the United States, we used data from the 2020 Decennial Census to map the percentage of householders ages 15-64 (the age range of the census data) who are married. We analyzed data by Public Use Microdata Area so that we could identify variations in marriage shares within larger cities and counties.
This analysis uncovered a major gap in marriage prevalence between different parts of the country. In around 11% of the areas we studied, fewer than 33% of householders ages 15-64 are married; in another 10%, at least 61% are. We refer to these regions as “marriage deserts” and “marriage gardens,” respectively. Depending on where they settle down, married couples may feel right at home — or like the odd ones out.
Marriage deserts don’t only exist in economically disadvantaged areas. They’re present in more affluent ones as well. For instance, in Midtown and Lower Manhattan — one of the world’s most important economic centers — only around 24% of householders are married. Similarly, in the D.C. area, home to the White House and Capitol Hill, only 17% of householders are married. Finally, just 24% of householders in Hollywood are married.
In part, these low percentages can be explained by the presence of recent college graduates and other young adults who will get married in the future. In addition, plenty of married individuals commute into these regions from surrounding areas. Even so, these findings make it clear that local culture, rather than economics alone, shapes marriage rates.
The top 10 areas where marriage is most prevalent are generally distant from the country’s centers of economic, political, and cultural power. Three of these marriage gardens are in the Houston and Dallas suburbs, and two are around Provo, Utah. Another area in the top 10 is New Jersey’s Lakewood Township, home to a large Orthodox Jewish population.
But outside this top 10 list, many additional marriage gardens exist near major coastal cities, including New York, D.C., and Los Angeles. However, such gardens tend to be in the surrounding suburbs, rather than the cities themselves.
My own family’s experience speaks to the value of living near other married couples and moving away from a low-marriage area. My wife and I began married life together in a New York City borough where around 70% of householders ages 15-64 are single. However, after we had our first child, we moved south to be closer to family and found ourselves in a county where just over half of householders are married. While we’re not in a “marriage garden,” the support we’ve received here from other married couples has been invaluable.
After our second child was born, other married couples gifted us 27 meals — nearly a full month’s worth — thanks to a “meal train” a friend set up for us. My wife has also appreciated spending time with other moms of young kids who live nearby.
Could we have found similar support back in New York City? Yes, undoubtedly — and our New York City friends, both single and married, provided generous support after our first child’s birth. However, our community was more spread out, and many of our married friends have since moved out of the city. Plus, the state and city taxes we were paying, together with New York’s high cost of living, would have made it harder to raise a family within our budget.
Moving to a marriage garden, or getting out of a marriage desert, won’t always be the right choice for newlyweds. Even so, we encourage couples to consider, before relocating for work or searching for their first home, how easy — or hard — it might be to find community with other couples nearby.
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Ken Burchfiel is a research fellow for the Family First Technology Initiative at the Institute for Family Studies.
This article is part of Upstream, The Daily Wire’s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories — from our featured writers to you.
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I am just an average American. My teen years were in the late 70s and I participated in all that that decade offered. Started working young, too young. Then I joined the Army before I graduated High School. I spent 25 years in, mostly in Infantry units. Since then I've worked in information technology positions all at small family owned companies. At this rate I'll never be a tech millionaire. When I was young I rode horses as much as I could. I do believe I should have been a cowboy. I'm getting in the saddle again by taking riding lessons and see where it goes.
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