'LAND' MAN: Adam Carolla kills at GOP convention with perfect 'progressive' punchline

Quick — what’s the most ridiculous relic of the woke era, the one even the most liberal of liberals would probably rather forget?

For our money, it’s the land acknowledgment.

Sweeney caught holy heck last year when she dared to playfully blur the line between genes and jeans for American Eagle wear.

You remember those. When every award show or ribbon cutting had to start with someone pretending to feel bad about “stealing” the country from Native Americans (although not bad enough to give it back).

The ritual has mostly faded from view — aside from Billie Eilish’s recent cringeworthy attempt to bring it back.

And after that awkward moment, we’re all ready to move on, right?

Not Adam Carolla.

During his remarks at the first-ever GOP midterms convention, the comic brought down the house with a caustic callback to peak 2021:

“All right. I would like to start tonight with a land acknowledgment. … This is the greatest land in the history of mankind. And if that bothers you, you, your communist and hippie buddies, should get the hell off it!”

Too late? Not by our lights. Sorry, libs. Some things are so embarrassing you never get to live them down.

Whoopi 101

It’s like they never left.

“The View” is back and just as disassociated from reality as ever.

The ABC chat-fest returned from its late-summer vacation and proved the hosts hadn’t used the downtime to catch up on their reading ... or thinking.

Never change, ladies.

Here’s Whoopi Goldberg recoiling in horror over Sen. John Fetterman making a guest appearance at this week’s GOP midterm convention. Seems she has other plans for the Pennsylvania moderate.

You could be, you know, helping us block this idea that we're taking votes away from people. You could stand for that. That would be a good thing. You could stand for bringing back education, real education to our kids in the schools and fight for all the things that we have grown up with and make them better.

Goldberg followed this rant with a detailed, point-by-point criticism of Republican policy.

Just kidding!

As for “real education,” does she mean far-left indoctrination like Colorado high schoolers committing violence at anti-ICE protests? Sorry, Whoopi. That’s on your party ...

RELATED: 'Do me the biggest favor': President Trump keeps the crowd laughing as he makes the case for Republicans

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Ghoulish groupthink

Few things are as insufferable as film festival “standing ovations.”

There’s nothing wrong with celebrating an outstanding performance, especially in a live setting like the theater. Once awards season hits, however, what brings an audience to its feet is more likely to be adherence to Hollywood groupthink than artistic excellence.

And they tend to go on and on. Remember: The longer you clap, the more virtue you signal.

Take the new documentary “NAZA," which argues that Israeli forces are systematically targeting and killing innocent Palestinian civilians.

That's one way to spin October 7.

The movie has earned rapturous reviews to date and is a likely Oscar contender in the Best Documentary field. The screening also sparked a record-setting 25-minute standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival.

We’ll have to wait and see if the filmmakers turn their artistic sights on Iran next, a country where the government slaughtered tens of thousands of its own citizens ...

Male call

Sydney Sweeney is making America male again.

The actress is back with a new, provocative ad campaign for Novig, a sports trading app. Sweeney uses a series of sports items to cover up select portions of her figure, all the while promoting a product that doesn’t go near politics.

Triggering.

Sweeney caught holy heck last year when she dared to playfully blur the line between genes and jeans for American Eagle wear.

She survived that cancel culture attack and is now shoving it in the left’s face. Here’s betting leftists won’t look away when the ad comes on their TV sets ...

Old time rock 'n' roll

Rock stars behave themselves better than they ever did.

Remember all the tales of groupies gone wild, trashed hotel rooms, and other flights of debauchery? Now, rockers beg for forgiveness after stepping out on their spouses.

That’s progress, but the headlines are a little less fun to chew over.

Enter Van Halen. Or more specifically, Alex Van Halen and Sammy Hagar. The two once rocked the world after Hagar took over for David Lee Roth in the mid-1980s. These days, the rockers don’t see eye to eye.

“In my opinion, Sammy Hagar is a complete idiot,” Van Halen said when a Brazilian interviewer brought up Hagar’s 2011 memoir.

Hagar responded with the 2026 version of drunken fisticuffs at Whisky a Go Go: a stern Instagram post.

“This comment and post is so unnecessary at this time in our lives, but I guess the truth hurts sometimes. Peace already.”

Sounds like there's only one way to settle this AARP-approved altercation: on the pickleball court.

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