Tan-splaining Colbert celebrates 'scandal-free' Obama at new presidential center opening

Say what you will about our president — at least he doesn't eat cats.

Actress Anne Schedeen, best known for playing Kate Tanner on the 1980s sitcom “Alf,” died this week at 77. The news likely stirred fond memories with Gen X fans, but news of her passing featured a very 21st-century nugget.

'[Supergirl] doesn’t live inside the binary of what we think a woman should be, that is what makes it so special and so exciting and so new.'

News outlets reported her passing, complete with a family statement lovingly remembering the mother, wife, aunt, and sister for her wit, creativity, and all-consuming obsession with our current president.

She leaves behind an extraordinary legacy of creative energy, whip-smart humor, delight in her family, adoration for little dogs, burning hatred for Trump, passion for secondhand thrifting, and love for a good story.

Wait … what?

Now, we’re used to stars like Robert De Niro slagging President Trump in every third sentence, but why would any family insist the press share their loved one’s political views in an obituary?

When “Alf’s” adopted parent is against Trump, you know the walls are closing in …

Silly Milly

For all we know, “Supergirl” star Milly Alcock may have the acting chops to be the next Meryl Streep. But for now she seems determined to be the next Rachel Zegler.

Zegler infamously helped crush her “Snow White” reboot with a series of silly, alienating press interviews. She wasn’t solely to blame for the film’s box-office pratfall, but she didn’t inspire audiences to flock to her film.

She became a case study for how not to market a movie. Now, it’s Alcock’s turn.

First, she whined about male viewers judging her as part of the “Game of Thrones” prequel series “House of the Dragon.” Later, she doubled down on that sentiment, singling out Christians in the process.

Now? She’s describing Supergirl as gender-fluid, or something.

“I’ve played a few characters that might have a potential queer through-line. I have many queer friends. So honestly, I’m kind of honored.”

Make it make sense. Alcock tries. Sort of.

“[Supergirl] doesn’t live inside the binary of what we think a woman should be. That is what makes it so special and so exciting and so new.”

Apparently, one of Supergirl’s superpowers is time-traveling back to 2020, the peak woke era …

RELATED: Full 'Disclosure': Steven Spielberg's latest has no signs of intelligent life

Damon Packard/spectacletheater.com/Mike Coppola/Getty Images

Card sharp

We all know Whoopi Goldberg can play the race card like few others. Yet when Vice President JD Vance confronted her on the issue, she folded like a deck of, well, cards.

Later in the week, when a sane person like Vance wasn’t around, she went right back to her ... black-and-white thinking.

Goldberg brought up the world champion New York Knicks and the team’s White House rendezvous, which led to this on-brand exchange from the “Sister Act” alum.

“I want all those black men to stand in our house and remind all of those people, as we tried to remind the vice president, that when you try to destroy one part of history, you are destroying all of our histories.”

Goldberg sure talks tough when someone with a functioning cortex isn’t on the panel…

'Powers' boost

“No, baby, no!”

The world’s sexiest spy, albeit with the worst teeth, is heading back to theaters. So says Mike Myers, the mischievous mind behind "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery."

The character headlined the 1997 comedy smash, and he came back for two diminishing sequels. We haven’t heard much from Myers over the past decade. He has disappeared into smaller character roles, like the record executive in “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Now, he’s threatening a fourth Austin Powers adventure.

Delayed sequels have a choppy history. “Zoolander 2” proved to be a disaster. “Anchorman 2” scored with audiences, but it couldn’t capture the original film’s glory. “Happy Gilmore 2” was pure nostalgia, little else. And the less said about “Blues Brothers 2000,” the better.

Myers looks rather youthful at 63, but some things are better left in the past. But if Austin could strike a death blow to the dying woke mind virus, maybe the time is right for a man whose middle name remains “Danger" …

Man with the tan

He’s been gone for about a month, but he remains his same insufferable self.

Stephen Colbert showed up at the opening of President Barack Obama’s Death Star, er, presidential center. And the former late-night host wore a tan suit to honor the man in question. Remember the media’s narrative that Obama’s tan suit moment proved his only real scandal?

That's true ... if you overlook the Russia collusion hoax, the Obamacare “if you like your health care plan, you can keep it" bait and switch, and the IRS’ targeting of conservative and Tea Party groups seeking tax-exempt status.

It’s all fodder for a great political satirist, which explains why Colbert didn’t go near any of the above.

Never change, Colbert. Never change.