Leftists Say Kids Are Too Expensive, But Middle America Keeps Proving Them Wrong

This article is part of Upstream, The Daily Wire’s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories — from our featured writers to you.

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Parents need to earn $400,000 each year to afford children, according to “The View” panelist Sunny Hostin. Her absurd claim made headlines last week because it’s ridiculous, but the practice of overinflating these numbers is nothing new. For years we’ve been inundated with claims about how much it really costs to raise kids. Some research says from birth to age 18, on average, parents will spend upwards of $250,000 taking their newborn into adulthood.

So how much is it, really? And more importantly: Is it worth it?

Hostin, who has two children, was reacting to Daily Wire host Isabel Brown making what should not have been a radical statement. Brown said, “If you’re not encouraging your children to grow up … get married and have kids — more kids than they can afford, before they think they’re ready, it is high time to start.”

This statement couldn’t be more important at a time when over half of the world’s countries now have fertility rates below the replacement level of 2.1 children per woman. It’s a problem that hits close to home. By 2030, nearly 45% of American women aged 25-44 are projected to be single and childless.

The media keep pushing stories about regretful parents, happy singles, and how “irresponsible” it is to have kids. They say it’s too expensive. But those of us with lots of kids, and way less money than Sunny Hostin, are here to say, no, it’s not.

As a regular middle class mom of five surrounded by other middle class friends and family in a very typical suburban town, I can tell you that most people I know don’t have a $400,000 income, but they do have kids. Most are homeowners with two cars who take annual vacations and whose children are involved in sports. Some of the wealthier friends have vacation homes, while some of those less well-off or single parents may rent their homes or do staycations instead.

My personal experience almost certainly differs from Hostin’s. However, I think most parents aren’t really spending $250,000 per child. These numbers are totally bogus.

A 2022 report from the Brookings Institution declared that a middle-income family with two children will spend approximately $310,605, adjusted for higher future inflation, to raise one child born in 2015 through age 17. A similar study put out by LendingTree last year had comparable findings, estimating the average annual cost to be $29,419, or a total of $297,674 for 18 years of parenting. None of these estimates includes the cost of college, which is a whole other issue.

The studies all note the difference between raising a child in a high cost of living area, such as Hawaii, and a low cost of living area, such as Mississippi. But they claim these numbers represent the average. As someone living in a mid-range area where a parent could expect to pay somewhere in the mid-range for child-raising, all I can say is, huh?

LendingTree broke down its cost analysis by category, taking into consideration factors including rent, groceries, transportation, health insurance, daycare, and apparel. The chart lays out the “bare-bones cost of raising [a] small child in [the] U.S.” and allots an amount for each category. But there’s one thing it fails to mention, namely that you’d be spending some amount of money on rent, food, and other essentials even if you didn’t have children. Also, parents spend their money differently than non-parents.

These studies assume that parents are spending, let’s say, $1,000 dollars of clothing per year for themselves and then $500 per child. With that rationale, adding two children to the household would increase total apparel expenditures to $2,000, right? But that’s oversimplifying the reality of life. Being a parent is a constant sacrifice of self, a rebalancing of priorities and goals. In practice, moms are more likely to take that whole $1,000 budget and spend 80% of it on their kids and 20% on themselves. Instead of increasing the budget, they will adjust where the money is going. And each child gets cheaper when you can use hand-me-downs.

When I was single and when I was married without kids, my diaper budget was $0. It increased with each child, forcing me to make cuts in other areas. Maybe it meant fewer dinners out or learning that home pedicures are less luxurious but more affordable. Now that my youngest twins are almost 5, our diaper budget is back to $0. Sounds like it’s time to schedule a pedicure.

The point is that families absorb new costs by adjusting others. That’s not to say that children don’t cost anything; my grocery bill would beg to differ. But these estimates are way off. The LendingTree report says “transportation costs” are $4,383 per year, which equals around $365 per month. An adult without children may not be spending her funds on a minivan, but she is just as likely to have a car payment.

The cost of raising kids is really what you make it. 

In a similar way, housing costs can become exorbitant if a family of seven opts to live in a six-bedroom house so everyone can have their own space. But if they’re like most of America, they use the high cost of real estate as another opportunity to humble themselves. My husband and I bought our first home, our three-bedroom, 1,500-square-foot starter home, one year after we married and before we had any children. Sixteen years and five kids later, we are still here in this little house.

Our children share rooms with bunk beds and cram together on the couch so we can watch movies together. We all share a bathroom and stick to a shower schedule. Our rambling old van is not pretty, but it’s paid off. Our household income is nowhere near $400,000. I am not spending $150,000 per year ($30,000 times five kids) on these lovely little people I’m raising. Sunny Hostin would be flabbergasted.

Compared to a family with two children, the cost per child goes up if you only have one child (by 27%) and goes down per child (by 24%) once you have three or more, according to a Department of Agriculture report in 2017. The report notes that this is because children can share bedrooms, clothing, and family responsibilities (fire the cleaning lady and assign some chores to your older kids!). Older children can babysit the younger ones. It’s interesting that this report hasn’t been updated in almost a decade.

Ultimately, it’s impossible to come up with a single number of what it costs to raise a child. The answer is, it depends. It depends on a family’s goals and values, on whether they buy their Nikes brand new or shop at thrift stores, on whether they’re an Aldi family or Whole Foods shoppers. It depends on whether or not one parent stays home with the kids to cut out the daycare fees. 

There are ways to save and spend at every income level, and children can be naturally absorbed into that by give and take in different areas. Children are not inherently expensive. For centuries people have been having far more kids with far less money and somehow making it work.

Isabel Brown was right. Our message to our children should be to have more kids than seems reasonable, before they feel ready. Not just because the future of humanity depends on it, but also because it’s worth every sacrifice.