You Can Tell A Man’s Vices By His Friends

As my boss likes to say, “You can tell a man’s vices by his friends,” and Arizona Sen. Ruben Gallego, a 46-year-old Democrat with his eye on 2028, has spent years surrounding himself with men whose scandals eventually caught up with them. So color us shocked that the man who looks like a predatory version of Gus from Cinderella may have one of his own waiting in the wings.

The now-married congressman admitted to having sexual relationships with two House staffers during his time in office amid a “pattern of mistakes and missteps and judgment calls,” a source told the New York Post. He also apparently has “very flirtatious” habits with others that “may come back to haunt him.” Sounds like more infractions may be hiding in his closet.

Could there have been signs that he may have felt inclined to use his position of power to coerce younger women into relationships with him? Any at all? The man is infamous for filing for divorce in late 2016, when his then-wife was heavily pregnant, weeks from giving birth. He’s currently under investigation for potentially misusing campaign funds on family travel, childcare, and Super Bowl tickets. Rep. Anna Paulina Luna’s office has passed sexual misconduct allegations against Gallego to Senate Majority Leader Thune’s staff. And he just about had a seizure on camera when his very “best friend” in the House, Eric Swalwell, watched his own scandal detonate.

Nah. The power clearly hasn’t gone to his head. Just ask the Democratic operative who’s crossed paths with him: she told the Post she witnessed that “flirtatious nature after a couple of drinks,” and has “always steered clear.”

But the real story isn’t Gallego’s alleged conduct in isolation. It’s who he chose to stand next to while it was happening. Look at the men Gallego has called friends, endorsed, and defended, and a pattern starts to look less like a coincidence and more like a type. Democrats don’t seem to have a problem with credible allegations against their rising stars. They have a problem with those allegations becoming a liability at the ballot box. The women making the accusations don’t suddenly become believable. The candidate just becomes unwinnable. The support doesn’t disappear when the accusations surface. It disappears when the polling does.

Exhibit A: Eric Swalwell. Democrats went to the mat for him against allegations of sexual assault, right up until he started sliding in the polls. Then the party quietly dropped him; he left Congress, and his 2026 California gubernatorial bid died with barely a eulogy.

Gallego, for the record, was listed on Swalwell’s campaign site as his best friend. The two traveled together, shared a joint account, and yet Gallego insists he had no knowledge of his wingman’s alleged r*peyness. Sure.

If Swalwell was the pilot episode, Graham Platner was the highly unfortunate sequel. Gallego endorsed him too, the Senate candidate from Maine who nearly made it to November carrying sexual harassment allegations, a Nazi tattoo, an account on an app known for messaging underage girls, an affair within months of his own wedding, a Reddit confession about masturbating in porta-potties (bonus points for explicit wall décor), and a claim that he’d r*pe home invaders, but, you know, not in a gay way. None of it moved Gallego. Then, Platner’s numbers started slipping, and suddenly a Democratic voter’s r*pe allegation was worth taking seriously. He dropped out, still insisting it was all a lie.

Gallego had once called him the “kind of fighter Maine hasn’t seen in a long time,” until he couldn’t ignore that the fighting was actually happening in the bedroom, and women were on the losing end.

And don’t forget the third member of Gallego’s “cool kids’ clique,” Rep. Jimmy Gomez (D-CA), who was spotted making out with a Swalwell aide at a house party in 2023. Nobody blinked when he later admitted to cheating on his wife.

But that’s just what “cool kids” do, right, guys?

It’s rich, watching the men harping the loudest about Jeffrey Epstein and those most devoted to “believing women” who then turn out to be the ones getting handsy the moment the lights dim in D.C. Apparently, belief is conditional. Ask any of them, and they’ll tell you they stand with survivors. Just don’t ask them to stand with one if she’s holding up their candidate’s poll numbers.

We will follow the facts, and right now, Gallego is nothing more than a hairy little dude with an eye contact problem and a prior affinity for younger, vulnerable staffers. But if his vices are in any way related to his friends, he might have a problem on his hands.