Monica Lewinsky recalls 'very dark moments' after scandal, surviving judgment by 'billions of strangers'

Monica Lewinsky reflected on the challenges of overcoming extreme bullying following a scandal that rocked the White House nearly 30 years ago.

Lewinsky, 52, acknowledged her "extraordinary" life progression as she was welcomed into a room full of "positivity and love" at The Beverly Hills Hotel — a stark contrast from decades of experiencing "extreme negativity."

"There have been some very dark moments. I don't want to sugar coat it," Lewinsky said in conversation with Jane Buckingham while being honored as the 2026 Woman of the 21st Century by the Women's Guild Cedars-Sinai.

"I know we're at a lovely luncheon, but I think it's so important for people to understand."

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Lewinsky was 21 years old when she began an unpaid internship at the White House in July 1995. She turned 22 that summer, and her sexual relationship with former president Bill Clinton, who was 49 at the time, began in November 1995.

It was only after she confided in a Pentagon co-worker, Linda Tripp – who secretly recorded their conversations, which were then used in Paula Jones' sexual harassment lawsuit against Clinton – when the affair became public fodder.

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"I was very surprised when I worked in the White House because I had assumed that the women who were in senior roles there, that they would all be there to boost one another," she said. "And it wasn't that. And that, I think, was very eye-opening to me, aside from the things I went through in '98."

During a January 1998 White House news conference, Clinton famously denied the affair, and stated, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky," and Monica subsequently went into hiding due to public humiliation.

She's maintained that their relationship was consensual, but there was nothing that could prepare her for the barrage of negative backlash.

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"I've done an enormous amount of energy work for 20 years, which, if there are any woo-woo people in the room or anybody who saw 'The Secret,' you remember about this idea of energy coming toward you and negative thoughts being ... energy coming toward you," Lewinsky said.

"I was severely impacted by having billions of strangers thinking negatively about me. My energetic field wasn't ready for that. So, I think that I worked hard with that, and I feel grateful. I really shed a lot of the bitterness. I think some of it is probably also buried."

WATCH: Monica Lewinsky shares her definition of power after surviving extreme public scrutiny

Lewinsky contemplated suicide due to the media scrutiny, and told The Times earlier this year that "the public humiliation was excruciating; life was almost unbearable."

Clinton was impeached in December 1998 on the grounds of perjury to a grand jury and obstruction of justice. He was subsequently acquitted two months later.

Themes surrounding authority and control have remained a constant in Lewinsky's life post scandal.

"I think of power in two different ways. There's the power that someone has and they use, that impacts other people's power," Lewinsky explained to Fox News Digital.

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"Then there's the power that someone has in connection to themselves and that's a lot more like strength."

Lewinsky also offered the notion that perseverance following public scrutiny isn't necessarily a straight-forward path.

"People often think of resilience as being linear and it is so much more like a spiral," she said.

"You will move forward, you'll go back, and move forward ... you'll go back and I think it's, again, people have to be patient with themselves."

Despite years of self-work and reflection following the scandal, it was only recently that Lewinsky felt confident with progress, thanks in part to her "Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky" podcast.

"I still live in a lot of fear," she said on a recent episode of her podcast. 

"It just may sound crazy, which is almost like an earthquake will happen and everything I've built in the last 11 years – oh gosh, it is making me emotional – will be taken away again, and I'll somehow find myself without purpose or, you know, without an income."