Russell Brand’s First Weekend In Jail Came With A Brutal New Nickname

Following his conviction on rape and sexual assault charges, actor Russell Brand has been mocked and taunted by the other inmates at HMP Wandsworth.

According to a report from The Daily Mail, Brand has been reduced to “cowering in fear” as his fellow inmates shout vulgar nicknames at him: “There’s a Brand new nonce on the wing! A Brand new nonce. Brand, you c*nt, you ain’t so f*cking lairy now.”

Making a play on the actor’s name and adding a slang term for “rapist,” “child molester,” or “sex offender,” the chant refers to him as “a Brand new nonce.” The word “lairy” is a British slang term used to describe a person who is loud, brash, rowdy, or over the top — either in their behavior or their dress — particularly if the behavior is fueled by alcohol.

The other inmates may only be part of the problem for Brand, however, as Page Six reported that HMP Wandsworth has been the center of several disturbing reports regarding the living conditions of inmates.

Classified as a Category B prison — which often handles prisoners who have not yet been sentenced or who are awaiting transfers to other prisons — HMP Wandsworth often operates well over capacity.

The Howard League for Penal Reform issued a report following a surprise inspection of the prison in 2024, declaring the facility unsafe, the staff inattentive, and the prison a hotbed of violence and drug use among the inmates.

Wandsworth was not safe: there had been 10 self-inflicted deaths since the last inspection, seven of which had occurred in the last 12 months. The rate of self-harm was high and rising, and yet around 40% of emergency cell bells were not answered within five minutes.

That same report determined that, at the time, the facility was responsible for 1,457 inmates even though the prison was only approved to house 894 inmates at a time — meaning that HMP Wandsworth was operating at 163% of its allowed capacity.

Brand was sent to HMP Wandsworth following his conviction on one rape and three sexual assault charges. As The Daily Wire previously reported, he was also acquitted of two additional rape counts and one count of attempted indecent assault.

The charges stemmed from incidents that allegedly occurred between 1999 and 2009, and Brand admitted to living a sexually promiscuous lifestyle in his younger years, but denied all charges — and has said that his recent conversion to Christianity has changed his life for the better.

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