‘Dumb As Rockettes’: Jimmy Kimmel Bashes ‘Melania,’ Insults Fans Of Documentary

Late-night court jester Jimmy Kimmel took to his stage this week to deliver a predictably smug eulogy for the documentary Melania, sneering at the film’s $7 million opening as nothing more than a “rigged” Hollywood accounting trick.

Kimmel, who has built a career on the very “clique” culture he claims to despise, mocked the film’s record-breaking status as the best non-musical documentary debut in a decade. “That’s just a fancy way of saying it only lost tens of millions of dollars,” Kimmel quipped, visibly irked that a project associated with the Trump name could still command a box office presence.

The monologue quickly descended into Kimmel’s signature brand of elitist condescension. He delighted in reports of bulk ticket purchases, comparing the film’s strategy to the RNC’s support of Donald Trump Jr.’s bestseller in 2019 — a book Kimmel claimed “no one has ever opened.”

He saved his sharpest vitriol for the American heartland, mocking a group of female congregants from a Dallas megachurch who wore gowns inspired by the First Lady. In a line that perfectly captured the late-night divide, he labeled the women the “dumb as a Rockettes,” signaling once again that the only thing Kimmel finds funnier than his own jokes is the perceived ignorance of anyone living outside the 310 area code.

Kimmel’s disdain for the “unwashed masses” was likely based on a more technical, if equally skeptical, Substack post by former IndieWire editor Tom Brueggeman. Brueggeman attempted to reconcile the $7 million haul with reports of “empty theaters” in deep-blue cities, suggesting the numbers were propped up by:

• Pity Purchases: “Sketchy” documentation of outside groups buying blocks of tickets to distribute for free to senior centers and activists.
• MAGA Spite: A surge in sales fueled by a desire to “own the libs” after the media began preemptively declaring the film a flop.
• Studio Math: Studio-provided estimates that conveniently projected a minimal Sunday drop to inflate the final weekend total.

To Kimmel, the film’s 99% audience score — higher than The Godfather — was the ultimate punchline. “I’m sure Donald J. Corleone had nothing to do with that at all,” he smirked. For the late-night host, it seems the only thing more offensive than Melania Trump’s success is the fact that millions of Americans still refuse to take their cues from his teleprompter.