The Barenaked Ladies Challenge: If You Have A Million Dollars, Are You Rich?

In 1992, Barenaked Ladies released “If I Had $1,000,000,” a track detailing all the things they’d buy with those stacks of cash. Offering little in the way of social commentary and more in the way of silly fun, the song became a crowd favorite despite never being a single nor having a video made for it. And at the time, it was accurate. One could buy quite a few things with $1,000,000 in 1992. Arguably, $1,000,000 in 1992 would make one rich.

In 2026, not so much. To achieve comparable purchasing power in 2026, one would need $2,361,684.28, a 137% increase. And not everything is staying on track with that inflationary level. For example, had Barenaked Ladies bought the house mentioned in the song in 1992, the median price was around $120,000. Since that time, the cost of housing has increased by 158%. Medical care is up 211%. Food and beverage grew by 148%.

One bright spot is that the emu they considered purchasing has gone in the opposite direction. Back in 1992, emu farming was a highly speculative business. To buy one, you’d have to pony up between $18,000 and $25,000. Today, you can get an emu for a mere $800-$2,500, making it one of the few times Homer was correct to ignore Marge’s advice.

If your job at the nuclear power plant forces you to go back to college, though, you’re facing an entirely different animal. In 1992, the average tuition for a state school was $2,349. Today, it’s $10,340, an increase of 340%. On the plus side, though, universities have drastically watered down course difficulty, making it that much easier to earn a degree that doesn’t truly prepare kids for a rapidly changing world.

The problem isn’t really the inflation, though inflation in healthcare and education is an issue. The problem is that we haven’t inflated our definitions of wealth since 1992. Financial reporters and businesses, for example, love to discuss the changing behaviors of affluent shoppers. For example, did you know that people earning over $100,000 annually shop at Walmart? Does anyone think $100,000 is really that much money, though?

Because it’s not. The median individual income in the United States is $62,088. Household income pushes that number up to $83,730. The individual number may be farther from $100,000 than the household number, but are we really going to pretend that an additional $17,000-38,000 is the difference between average and affluent?

On the business side, it’s easy to understand why frugal companies want to appeal to all shoppers. Wealthy people don’t experience economic downturns the same way as those working paycheck to paycheck. The wealthy can continue making discretionary purchases when the economy heads south, helping maintain profits, while those with tighter budgets cut back.

When it comes to members of the media who parrot those lines about the price of affluence, it does a disservice to the public, at least the portion of the public that still trusts mainstream media. (Current level: 28%, a decrease of 51.72% from 1992.) As such, it’s time to update the way we talk about these things.

For a while, Barenaked Ladies were just singing songs. We as a people need accurate information, including accurate information about what constitutes true wealth. To retire, you’re going to need at least a million. The median cost of a house isn’t quite half a million, but it’s close. We now have the world’s first trillionaire, which is super impressive, but it is important to keep things in perspective.

Because having $1,000,000 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in 2026. It’s important that you shouldn’t turn it down if you get the opportunity, but it’s not going to make you wealthy. So instead of mischaracterizing what it means to be a millionaire, let’s aspire to join their ranks, if for no other reason than we want to enjoy our golden years. And while we’re at it, let’s also refrain from using the word “rich” to denote having large amounts of financial resources. Instead, say “wealthy.” I’m Rich and, like Elon the trillionaire, there is only one of me. Unlike the trillionaire, though, I cannot fund interplanetary travel, especially not when gas is so expensive.

***

Rich Cromwell is a writer living in Northwest Arkansas. He produces the Cookin’ Up a Story podcast, which you can listen to here. You can also follow him on X: @rcromwell4