What Military Wives Quietly Carry While America Sleeps

This article is part of Upstream, The Daily Wire’s new home for culture and lifestyle. Real human insight and human stories — from our featured writers to you.

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I’m lucky: I know where my husband is when he’s deployed, and I know how long he’ll be gone. I get to talk to him during deployment, and I can settle into a routine of communication and home life. Many military spouses don’t have such luxuries. But we all know what it’s like to hold things down on the home front on our own. And for those of us with jobs and kids, juggling all our responsibilities gets a lot more complicated. 

Similar to many women, especially with small children, many military wives I know don’t work. They know their spouse will be gone for months at a time, and it doesn’t make sense for their family. But for the 64% of us who do work, the juggling gets a bit more wobbly when we’re acting as single parents. Personally, I could never do it without flexible work. 

Over a third of active duty families have children. When we had our first child, I fully expected to be forced out of the workforce, choosing my family life over my work. But Independent Women is a fully remote workplace, which allows employees greater flexibility to balance work and other responsibilities. 

Many brave women serve our country in the military. But it is a male-dominated profession, and the fact that 90% of military spouses are women reflects that. For so many other moms, even outside military life, remote work is a lifeline, allowing them to provide some income for their families while balancing the demands of family life. And family life is uniquely demanding for military families with small children: 46% of active-duty spouses have children under the age of six at home.

Flexibility is a vital characteristic of military family life, and work is no exception. We’re asked to adjust to living in new locations, spouses being back and forth on deployments, and for many, a new job with each move. Many military spouses struggle to find work at all, with an unemployment rate that’s nearly four times higher than that of civilian spouses. But even with a similar overall labor force participation rate to civilian spouses, military spouses earn much less than their counterparts. After all, career advancement is more difficult when you can’t stay at a company thanks to military relocations, and your career comes second to your spouse’s. As a consequence, military spouses, on average, earn approximately 38% less than their civilian counterparts.

This isn’t to say that we begrudge the service of our military members. We’re incredibly proud of their sacrifices, and are happy to make our own to support them. All families require sacrifices and compromise. But the military is a way of life that requires a full-family effort, and workplace flexibility lightens the load for employed spouses. 

I’m proud of my husband, proud of his hard work and dedication to our family and our country. And I’m happy to hold things down at home, taking a large portion of responsibility when he’s deployed. But without the ability to work remotely and enjoy a flexible schedule, I’d never be working today. I would choose my family in a heartbeat, but women shouldn’t have to choose if they don’t want to. If the COVID-19 pandemic taught us anything, it’s that many jobs can be much more flexible than they’ve historically been. I’m incredibly grateful that I can continue to work while also caring for my children and keeping things running smoothly at home. Employers should recognize the gift they can give their workers (and help themselves by keeping good workers in the labor force) by allowing them flexibility.

This military appreciation month, take a moment to recognize the families that support our brave service members. We have the best military in the world, and we should be immensely proud of the many sacrifices made by these patriotic Americans. And behind every service member is a military family that’s making sacrifices right along with them.

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Charlotte Whelan is the policy managing editor at Independent Women.